My List

THE LIST

This was inspired by Libay’s list of minimum requirements for a partner. But she warned me about copying, so I am making my own version. Instead of a list of what I want from a GF, I am going to make a list of what I can give my potential partner.

Appreciation – Remember Billy Joel’s song, “Tell Her about It”? That’s exactly what I mean. I won’t cringe from telling her everyday how much I love her. She will know what she really means to me and I will let her know how much I appreciate her. Too often we wait to long before we let our partners know that they are valued and loved. By the time we realize we have been neglecting our partner, she’s long gone. I may be the busiest GF one can possibly have, but my partner will never feel I am not there for her.

Communication – My partner can come to me to talk about anything. The same way that I will go to her and tell her everything going on in my life, I wouldn’t want her to leave anything out. My attraction starts with communication and my relationship should be sustained by communication. The moment this stops, I believe our most intimate connection with each other will be lost as well. I am a Gemini, I need to talk about things, articulate stuff to make it clear in my head.

Honesty – This leads us to honesty. I am a chronic confessor; I feel compelled to be open about my life to my partner. As I pointed out before, I’d rather know about the painful truth that be kept in the dark. Even if it’s about a 3rd party, falling out of love, wanting to end the relationship..I’d rather hear it straight from her.

Trust – Honesty begets trust. I know this is something that is earned, and once lost can be difficult to regain. I made the mistake of losing this once and I had a hard time trusting myself too for some time. But it’s part of my own naivete that I am still too trusting for my own good. I am willing to give this, but it’s also something I expect in return.

Respect – This also goes both ways for us. I will respect my partner’s personal integrity and individuality; I will not “cramp her style”. She can have her own plans and dreams, pursue her own activities even if they are not shared interests. But I would appreciate it very much if we both make an effort to try and do those things together if possible. My respect for her also borders on the utmost pride I feel for having her as my GF.

Courage – I surprise myself each time of what I am capable of when I really am in love. My GF couldn’t imagine what I would be willing to do and sacrifice for her. The sense of security being in-love gives me makes me braver than I give myself credit for sometimes. I realized, with a most uncertain thing such as love, we still manage to have faith that the person we fall for is worth it.

Loyalty and Commitment – I am capable of monogamy and fidelity; my ten-year track record can prove this. Nothing makes me happier than being in a loving, committed, passionate and monogamous relationship. I absolutely love the idea of being “married”. I am not just after a GF; I want a life partner, someone I can actually grow old with.

Genuine Affection – I am not particularly the PDA kind, but I am very sweet. My “language of love” is translated into various ways and means - from cheesy love letters and mushy to poetry, to morning cups of coffee or breakfast in bed, and foot massages after a tiring day. She will know this from the way I touch her, the way I hold her hand or put my arm around her shoulder.

Intense Lovemaking – Forgive me for being too traditional, but sex does have a special meaning for me. I don’t engage in it and not end up giving something of myself. For me, making love is an almost “spiritual” experience. When I make love, it is the most intimate connection I can have with another person. This is why I am always in danger of “falling” when I go to bed with someone. But I am a generous lover, my partner will not be left wanting or unsatisfied because I usually put her needs first before mine.

Friendship – As I said before, my greatest happiness is being married to my best friend. I want my life partner to be my friend as well. I also don’t think partners should stop being “friends” the moment they become “lovers”. As they say, when time has passed, and hot, passionate sex is gone, you can at least still stay together for the companionship.

These are lessons learned from my past relationships. I thank my Ex-partners for these lessons that I had to learn the hard way. But my new GF will probably thank you for it now.