Guimaras in July

And so it was,..an escape, a perfect get-away, a hideaway both for healing hearts, and making new memories A time to welcome the sunshine into your life again, the freedom in the rolling surf and sea breeze, the calmness of the waters, and the gentleness of the sunset. Gorge in the sweetness of the famed mangoes, savor its taste, its freshness the surprise each derived product brings, the prospects and possibilties of what else can be enjoyed. Guimaras is about taking chances, a leap of faith that begins first with a flight, then a seemingly short cruise and a cross-country trek that doesn't promise much until you come out on the other end of the island...and then, the rest of your Life begins..again

Of New Year Celebrations

Last night's celebration was special to me because it's the first New Year's Eve in four years that I wasn't spending alone (or with my dog) locked up in an airconditioned room. I had good food and good company in the person of my small family, living reminders of what I had to look forward to in the coming year. I know now that there would be no more New Year's Eves spent alone. I remember how New Year was celebrated in my household when I was young. Manong Snokum would have these little pull-string firecrackers he would attach to our screen doors. He would terrorize our maids by installing these just when the maids were busy going in and out of the house. And speaking of maids, we had innovative and enterprising kasambahays before. Long before there was a "sinturon-ni-hudas" or the so-called "sawa", Melda already devised a way of stringing up labintadors together and lighting them up for a machine gun-like effect come midnight. Oh when the Five-Stars became popular, she stringed them up too, and like bandoliers she'd have them across her chest ready for hanging on our clothesline. Just one light and we'd have a full five-minute, non-stop firecracking experience. Having a long driveway and big double gates also served a purpose - we could always hang our trompillos there and have a simultaneous show with the fountain cones. As a kid, we were limited to holding sparklers or lusis, but my cousins and I can always sneak a few watusis. You can scratch watusis across the ground with your foot, or scratch them on walls. We didnt know then that they were highly toxic and could poison you if you dont wash your hands. Soon, we graduated to lighting up Baby Rockets to zoom across the sky, and our measly lusis became full Roman Candles, shooting up sparks and exploding as well. Again, we didnt know how dangerous Roman Candles were until one New Year's Eve an accident happened. We had nailed all the trompillos by the gate, set up the fountains on the driveway, and hung our family version of the Super-Sawa on the clotheslines. we had our picnic table by the coverred garage, and on it laid out our various sparklers, Whistle Bombs, Baby Rockets and Roman Candles. Our assorted labintadors, Five Stars and Bawangs included, were in one big old Graham Crackers can. So we started out with everybody holding sparklers; kids with small lusis and the adults with Romand Candles. One aunt, Tita Vangie, got scared of all the explosions from the fireworks and kept backing up, not realizing her Roman Candle was sending sparks to the picnic table where the whole can of firecrackers were. Before we knew it, it was like World War III and we were all running for our lives. Most of us were able to run to the far end of the driveway, to the edge of our compound where the other apartment doors were. Unfortunately, some headed for the screen door of the main house. In their haste and in desperation, they couldn't get inside because they all piled up, one on top of the other, cringing for protection from the exploding fireworks. We couldn't see with all the smoke, but the last we heard was the poor Graham Crackers can clanking down. And ten minutes before midnight, we had already exhausted our firecrackers. Talk about being premature... The morning after was always one big mess. Pulbora-residue, ashes and sand were all around. Exploded wrappers were like confetti everywhere. But there is always an un-exploded firecracker in there somewhere. Some people make the mistake of thinking that these can be discarded the same way they do with dried leaves - by simply sweeping them away and burning them. My Dad had the misfortune of finding out for himself one New year's day when he took on clean-up duties. He simply swept them all up together with all the other garbage, plastics and celofane wrappers included. And so another accident was bound to happen...An unexploded firecracker lit up and exploded, sending trash flying everywhere. Plastic, being of light material, flew in the direction of my Dad and it stuck to his arm, burning him. And so he spent his birthday and the next few days nursing a bad wound. I sit here, watching my little girl play with her Xmas bounty of toys. I wonder what joys and surprises 2013 will bring her, just as each passing year gave me in my youth. I realize all the promise and potential this year can have...And so we begin, for this is the first day of the rest of our lives.

Che's Wedding Piece: A Tale of Two's

There are two more weddings in the family coming up in the next few weeks. And as always, it will be a time for relatives to show up and welcome the new members into the fold. Besides the two grooms, I suspect my own “instant” family would be scrutinized as well. My “new” two year old girl is currently the light of my life. Each morning she greets me with a thunderous (yes, she has a booming voice at her age) “hi!” and a tiring day at the office can always be wiped away with just a welcoming hug from her at the end of the day. I now realize, a kid in the house is always crazy, but pleasantly fun. It wasn’t too long ago when my Dad too enjoyed the pleasure of a child in the house long after all of us kids were already of school age. During a Holy Week vacation in Ilocos, we chanced upon Mother Sandra and asked her to join the household once again. I went biking to Zone 2 (pronounced as “Son-to” in Bantay) with my grandfather to find Mother Sandra and lo and behold, there she was with her own mini-me…a two-feet high miniature Sandra. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but the mother and daughter were having a tug-of-war scene appropriately near the family sow’s muddy pen. This prelude was evident of the strong-willed personalities of both mother and daughter that would characterize their relationship through the years. Ironically, this personality would serve Sheryl or “Cheche” as we fondly called her, quite well. This early independence allowed her to play alone, or with other children, even as Mother Sandra was busy with household chores and couldn’t watch over her. If she got into a fight with other kids, we would know, because she would come rushing home without a word. Yes, we never fought any of her fights for her because she could certainly take care of herself even at 2 or 3 years old. We would only find out the next day how bad it was when an angry aunt would come over to our house complaining that Che made a much older 7- year old cousin cry the previous day. Yes, she would occasionally get herself in trouble but she always knew how to get out of them. Once, she broke my Dad’s ashtray in his office. Mother Sandra distinctly heard a crash and something breaking, but when she got to my Dad’s office, there was nothing on the floor…just Che standing there suspiciously. When asked what happened, little Cheche refused to admit to anything. Mother Sandra asked her where the broken pieces were and Che’s classic reply was, “Problema ko na yun..” At home, the closest to her age was Gayle who was at least 6 years older. You would think Gayle would be the bad influence on her, but no…they were “partners-in-crime”. They both had a penchant for those dried pusit in small packs, grilled streetfood like “isaw” and “adidas”, and that iced delicacy, “iskrambol” although they were prohibited from eating those things. So they would sneak out of our side gate instead of the front where Mother Sandra could catch them. They would hug the fence-wall, sliding stealthily like spies and run to the neighbourhood sari-sari store to buy their favourite snacks. Together they stand, and together they fall so to speak…and so these two finally ended their “reign of terror” when they both fell victim to due “consequences” of eating dirty streetfood. Mr. Combantrin was the only solution and it had Cheche spouting her undying love for her mother in the toilet because she thought she was at the point of death. As a student, Che was also unusual. She never had to be coaxed into going to school everyday, or doing her homework. She would display that same independence unless she needed help with a drawing (she would come to me) or with her math (she would go to Giselle). With Mother already in Rome, Mama was her official guardian and Che never gave her reason to go to Stella Maris to have a special meeting with the principal or the guidance counsellor. Even in high school, she was never the problematic teen. Once Mama was required to attend a school event and she nonchantly went thinking it was like any other activity. She got the surprise of her life when during a song number there was a soloist, and it was Che! Gayle was the only one with the courage to try out for the Glee Club before, so like any other little sister, Che followed suit. But of course, she was always capable of going beyond whatever we accomplished like any other younger sibling. And so it was, when it was time for her to apply for university. The family’s deepest frustration of not having a dentist in the clan was thrust upon her even as she hoped to follow our footsteps in going to UP. But it was not in her cards to become one of our sorority sisters, because her destiny lay in UE, a well-known school for dentistry. There, she applied herself to her studies the same way she always did. Experiencing failing marks for the first time, she did what was necessary and took the make-up summer classes. Maybe she always thought of Mother Sandra in Rome, working very hard for her education that kept her on the right path. She always put her studies as her priority even at the most unusual times. Once, there was a big fire that engulfed the squatters area near our house. The flames got so big, our home was also at risk of being burned down as well. We had to evacuate like the rest of the people, moving the cars, taking our valuables with us. But for Cheche at that time, her books and laboratory manuals were her “valuables”. And in the heat of the moment, things got dropped on the ground as we all rushed out and scrambled for safety. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the fire did not reach our house. When we were asked if there were any losses or damage to property, Che was hilariously the only victim because her books fell in the water from the firemen’s hoses. By the time Che asked to live away from home, we were confident enough she could be left alone as an adult already. She would come by for her clothes, stay the weekend but always went back to her dorm in time for her classes. When she was reviewing for her dentistry board exams, we hardly worried about her and only occasionally asked if she had done the rounds of the classic pilgrimage sites like Our Lady of Manaoag, St. Jude, Sta. Clara and Baclaran. She never lost confidence and probably never even considered failing. And even if she did, she simply shrugged her shoulders and promised herself she’d try again. That was how strong and resilient she could be. By the time she was a bonafide dentist, employed at an established dental clinic in Binondo, she never stopped being hardworking. She put up her own dental clinic with a few of her old classmates and even started various endeavours like an RTW and a food cart business. One thing Che was never lacking is courage and a risk-taking demeanour that always allows her to land on her feet. For Che, there are no mistakes or failures because she carefully assesses her risk exposure and if there are any losses on her part, she would make sure she didn’t do too badly. I believe Che is the same with her lovelife. She always knew what she wanted and that was non-negotiable. The real challenge was finding a guy who would be confident enough to handle her strong-will and independence. Truly lucky is the man who would manage to “tame” her because she could be a real “partner for life”, a source of strength, a sanctuary from all of Life’s hustle and bustle. She can a true lover and carer – someone who can feed you the tastiest dishes and yet scold you for getting sick and not taking better care of yourself. Yes, Cheche can be a real challenge, but I assure you she would be really worth it. So good luck to you Elmer and may your years together be truly blessed.

Reflections of a Filipino LGBT Activist and SOGI Rights Defender

Joint statements and resolutions on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) have been delivered at the United Nations General Assembly and Human Rights Council since the early 2000s. But it wasn’t until 2010, and under UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon, that SOGI and the human rights of sexual minorities were given the due attention they deserve in the UN system. We remember that at the vote for amending the UN Resolution on Extra-judicial Executions, the resulting 79-70 vote managed to remove a “10-year old provision” stating that no one should be summarily executed or arbitrarily killed because of one’s sexual orientation or gender identity. UN Sec-Gen thus declared in September 2010 in Geneva, “Laws criminalizing people on grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity violate the principle of non-discrimination. They also fuel violence, help to legitimize homophobia and contribute to a climate of hate…Social attitudes run deep and take time to change. But cultural considerations should not stand in the way of basic human rights.” Fortunately, in December 2010, the United States proposed an amendment retaining the “sexual orientation” provision and it was adopted by a vote of 93-55, with 27 abstentions. Once again, Ban Ki Moon declared in New York, “As men and women of conscience, we reject discrimination in general, and in particular discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. When individuals are attacked, abused, or imprisoned because of their sexual orientation, we must speak out..Where there is tension between cultural attitudes and universal human rights, universal human rights must carry the day..” At the vote of the above-mentioned controversial resolution, my home country was one of those States which unfortunately abstained. But this was expected since the Philippine Government has yet to adopt a clear human rights framework that is inclusive of sexual minorities and explicitly addresses human rights violations on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI). Even with the absence of laws criminalizing homosexuality, Philippine society has adhered to a patriarchal and deeply embedded influence of Catholicism in the social and political sphere. The State has perpetuated gender-defined social norms that promote stereotypes, prejudice and the stigmatization of LGBT persons. Thus, such representations by the Philippines at the UN have been a big disappointment for the whole Filipino LGBT Community who know all too well the discrimination and violence one can be subjected to, including the risk of being killed in a hate crime. In a report titled “The Status of LGBT Rights in the Philippines, Submission to the Human Rights Council for the Universal Periodic Review 13th Session,” the groups Rainbow Rights Project (R-Rights) and the Philippine LGBT Hate Crime Watch (HCW) submitted a long list of violations of human rights based on sexual orientation and gender identity. To date, many of us still do not get equal opportunity in employment and are deprived of the right to earn a decent living. Even with the proper education, training and experience, some LGBTs are not hired, promoted or given the opportunity for professional advancement in the workplace. LGBT youth are also deprived of their right to education when their schools expel them or subject them disciplinary sanctions because of their actual, or perceived, homosexual tendencies. Instead of proper guidance and healthy advise to become stable and productive adults, our young LGBTs are driven to self-hate and destructive behaviour, and worse, even suicide. In the area of public services, LGBTs only ask that they are not denied entry from business establishments and facilities that are open to the general public, that they also have equal access to medical and health services, and that should they not be subjected to harassment, extortion or insensitive treatment from law enforcement personnel. According to the Philippine LGBT Hate Crime Watch research on violence against the LGBT population in the Philippines, as of the end of 2011, around 164 deaths of LGBTs with varying elements of motives of hate or bias, extrajudicial killing, and/or discrimination-related violence related to sexual orientation and gender identity have been documented in mass media reports and oral testimonies since 1996. As I reported here early in March this year, during the first quarter of 2012 alone, there was more than a dozen gay killings in the Philippines already. Recently, a video of the actual murder of a homosexual doctor recorded on the cellphone by one of the 2 young men he welcomed into his home was released in the media and was used by authorities as evidence in the commission of the crime. * * * * In December 2011, the first UN report on Discriminatory Laws and Practices and acts of violence against individuals based on their sexual orientation and gender identity was submitted by the High Commissioner on HR, and in March (2012) this year, the first UN panel discussion ending human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity was held. The High Commissioner Navy Pillay’s report acknowledged that in all regions, people experience violence and discrimination because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. In many cases, even the perception of homosexuality or transgender identity puts people at risk. While not addressing all violations perpetrated in relation to sexual orientation or gender identity, the groundbreaking report highlights critical human rights concerns that States have an obligation to address, and highlights emerging responses. Sexual orientation, like gender and race, relates to the fundamental aspects of human identity. While formally defined as the pattern or direction of sexual and emotional attraction and conduct, sexual orientation relates to the “deepest affairs of the heart, the innermost desires of the mind, and the most intimate expressions of the body”. In other words, it goes into the very core of what it means to be human. Consequently, Human Rights are founded on the concept of respect for the inherent dignity and worth of a human being. The right to freely determine one’s sexual orientation and the right to express it without fear are human rights in the fullest sense. As such, lesbian and gay rights and issues belong to the human rights agenda because the nature and scale of the abuses that LGBT people regularly suffer undermines the whole protective framework of human rights by taking away its very foundation - equal rights and dignity of all human beings. Human rights, therefore, include the right to be free from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as the right to equality and fair treatment before the law. And to live “in dignity” means being entitled to freedom, security and decent standards of living in a concurrent and indivisible sense. Therefore, gay and lesbian issues and problems as part of the human rights agenda crosses into both categories of human rights; those that are “liberty-oriented” and those which are “security-oriented”. They seek to ensure the Civil and Political Rights or “liberty rights” such as the right to life, liberty and security, freedom of expression, and freedom of association and assembly. They also ensure Social and Economic Rights or “security rights“ such as the right to work, education, food, shelter, and a decent standard of living. * * * * The Filipino LGBT Community does not ask for “special” rights; we only ask that the Constitutional provision of equal protection of the laws likewise be applied to us and that our basic human rights are protected. As human rights defenders, we believe that Filipino LGBTs deserve the same opportunities for self-determination and development, and that includes giving our LGBT youth proper access to education, and our qualified and eligible LGBT workforce equal chances of finding employment. We strongly enjoin the Philippine Government to finally have a national policy for protecting the rights of Filipino LGBTs and to pass appropriate legislations that will address our unique concerns. In fact, with the Philippines’ reputation of abiding by international human rights standards and complying with our obligations under human rights conventions, adopting such a national policy tackling sexual orientation and gender identity would not be contrary to any international human rights principle or our Constitution. Currently, there are two pending bills in the Lower House and Senate that explicitly mention “sexual orientation” as a criteria for non-discrimination, and some legislators are intent with doing away with it as a basis for an anti-discrimination legislation. With the UN system and other Member States help, it is imperative that this present Philippine Congress finally passes an appropriate Anti-Discrimination law that will promote the welfare of Filipino LGBTs, and ensure the protection of their human rights.

Independence Day @Ecopark

i.With just my wandering thoughts leading me My steps brought me here To the greenery and the flowing waters To where it all began ii. Here underneath tall trees and gentle breezes We began an adventure meant only for the strong of heart You took to this journey w/ all the gusto and enthusiasm That you rode the zipline with across the stream iii. I remember the boatride, All the effort I put into rowing that little dingy As you cheered on others who took the plunge Love overflowing, your emotions echoed through the watershed iv. but it had to come to this like trees felled after the passing of storms some relationships break in the midst of troubles creeks once driven by rushing waters can dry up and become as barren and empty as a feeling devoid of affection v. and we find out that flowers lose their bloom with the passing of every summer the rains come and we are left hiding indoors in the misery of our loss vi. yet we know that soon the deluge of tears will eventually cease and we shall venture out again to a completely different world vii. thicker vegetation, a variety of plants promising to bloom and bear fruit, where colourful flowers will once again line the walkways and paint the scenery with happiness viii. as I turn to leave, imprinting in my memory the beauty of this place, like the passing of the seasons, I know this heart too will endure.. GPL 6/12/2012

R-Rights Asks PNoy to Improve LGBT Rights

MANILA - LESBIAN, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) advocates led by the Rainbow Rights Project (R-Rights) are reminding the Aquino administration of the pending review before the United Nations of its record in respecting human rights based on sexual orientation and gender identity. On May 28, 2012, the UN Human Rights Council is set to cross-examine all the compliance by the Philippine government of international human rights conventions, including those that apply to LGBT sectors in the process called the Universal Periodic Review (UPR). Both the government and civil society organizations have submitted separate reports. In its report titled “The Status of LGBT Rights in the Philippines, Submission to the Human Rights Council for the Universal Periodic Review 13th Session,” the groups Rainbow Rights Project (R-Rights) and the Philippine LGBT Hate Crime Watch (HCW) submitted a long list of violations of human rights based on sexual orientation and gender identity. In March 2012, the Rainbow Rights Project, represented by policy advocacy officer Germaine Trittle Leonin, has made several representations with the UN Human Rights Council based in Geneva and worked with the Office of the High Commissioner on Human Rights (OHCHR) while seeking to engage the Philippines official representative to act on the reports. The R-Rights-HCW joint report scored the failure of government to enact and Antidiscrimination Law, which has remained pending in Congress for over 12 years. The report also noted the Supreme Court ruling against the rights of transgenders to have their identities changed in birth and travel documents. Leonin said the R-Rights report also highlighted the lack of basic health care for LGBTs and certain medical abuses inflicted on transgender clients. “Sadly, despite efforts by civil society groups, the government representative in Geneva has not made significant efforts to incorporate our recommendations in the discussions for this month,” Leonin said. In a related development, during Adoption Consciousness Week in March, officials of the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) have already declared that while single gays are not prohibited from adopting, same-sex couples are not permitted to jointly adopt children, as the right is provided only for legally married partners. Some DSWD officials have also expressed support for LGBTs being adoptive parents reasoning that there is no proof that LGBTs cannot be good parents. However, the community is still requesting for a more definite policy that would protect the rights of adoptive gay parents. R-Rights is also organizing a dialogue with the Office of the President this month after a massive raid on a gay sauna in Pasay City left many gay male clients traumatized. R-Rights said it has been providing legal aid to hundreds of gay men who are brutalized by police in bar raids and street sweeps. R-Rights is calling on the Philippine National Police to work with the community in preventing abusive behavior, extortion, and harassment in these instances. The UPR is a process where the Council examines each member state for its implementation of human rights treaties. The review this month is the second time the Philippines will come under the examination of the Council. R-Rights will continue to engage the Philippine government until the Aquino administration and Congress will finally comply with the UPR process and issue the necessary laws and policies recommended for the LGBT sector

The MiriamQ Effect: When We Teach Kids to Hate

Last night, the word "LGBT hate crime" hit closest to home: the kind and generous gay man who befriended my bedridden gay brother was mugged by a group of drunken teens in our own subdivision. The security guards were not able to help him. And when early this morning the baragay authorities came to question these young men, these "guardians" of Sunny Villas were too afraid to reveal who these suspects are. Historically-speaking, these youth in their early 20s are notorious for their noisy, whole-night drinking sprees at the village basketball court. Too often have they bullied many fellow residents, but they always seem to get off. They had badgered Joseph on previous occasions, taunting him with shouts of "pahindot, pahindot" because they knew he was an openly gay man. So this attack was no ordinary "napag-tripan lang". They targetted him, assaulted him by ganging up on him, and even when Joseph didn't fight back, they kept punching and hitting him, kicking him while on the ground. They didn't even stop when the guards approached. As a result, Joseph has a cut forehead, bruises on his face and a dislocated jaw that needs therapy. His right arm and wrist have fractures that necessitate a cast. He cannot write or sign his name, and he is a BIR Examiner who needs the use of his hand. Joseph was attacked because he was deemed to be "vulnerable", an easy target because he is gay. They do not know how generous he is that he sponsors Xmas parties for the poor children in the community just outside our subdivision. He even takes some of these kids on summer outings when he has extra resources. He willingly lends cash to the poor housewives who need a little something to tide their families over. And he consoled and entertained my PWD gay brother with his stories and escapades, sharing with him his special Sunday lunches and giving him food when the caregiver is out. Joseph is a good man, and that is more that I can say for those jerks that beat him up. I also heard that another good friend was traumatized by an incident a few weeks ago. Ryan is a college professor and LGBT activist, who happens to be walking by with another gay friend when they passed by a teenager who was urinating against a public wall. Instantly, they were accused of "peeping" at the guy's genitals and he pulled a knife on them. This act of violence has severly affected Ryan who is also a child rights advocate. Because he is gay, he was automatically presumed to be a "sexual predator". They do not know that Ryan teaches because he values the importance of education in molding young minds. They do not know that Ryan specializes in human rights, particularly on child rights protection because he believes children should be spared the violence and hate perpetuated by adults. People like Miriam Quiambao spout discriminatory statements against LGBTs, and her ideas only serve to reinforce the prevailing homophobia that has damaged so many lives. Too often gays are victimized and people just turn a blind eye, as if gays deserve the ill treatment they get. And by doing nothing against these acts of violence, people continue to perpetuate the idea that it's okay to hurt other people especially if they are so different from you. No less than the Supreme Court censured the COMELEC when it considered LADLAD undeserving of partylist accreditation because it had labeled Pinoy LGBTs as "threat to the youth". As someone working at the DSWD, I took this as a personal affront. Apparently, after years of working for the passage of child-friendly laws and policies, I had been a "threat" simply because I am a lesbian. So why the heck did I work on the Anti-Violence against women and Children Act, the Anti-Trafficking Act, the Anti-Child Pornography Act, and the Anti-Corporal Punishment/Positive Disciplining bill..so, I could harm kids? Maybe it is about time Philippine society rethinks what values it is actually teaching kids. Judging gay people as "evil" and "sinners" outrightly, without even knowing the amount of good they do for others is the height of hypocrisy and self-righteousness. I ask you again, Ms. MiriamQ and the rest of the homophobic population...which one of us speaks the greater "truth" of God's teachings now?