What Lengths

To what lengths would you be willing to sacrifice your true happiness for?
When each day is pure agony already;
You force yourself to lie beside her at night,
To face her at the dinner table as you eat your meals,
To speak to her when her voice is a mere echo of words,
After you have tuned out from her absurd monologues hours ago.

She finally notices your blank eyes, the smileless lips,
the wan look - misery clearly etched on your face;
Yet she has the gall to ask if you still loved her.
She suddenly raises your common concerns:
the trip, the dog, the bills –
as if these things still matter
like your plans and your dreams.

You have managed to extend your patience to unimaginable lengths
But the effort is not because you really aim to please her
With each tantrum, you’ve learned to detach yourself
With every outburst, you’ve learned not to care
Because with each hurtful word she blurts out
You love her a little less …
Gpl 4/10/11

Stuck

You seem stuck in this place
While everyone else’s lives go on
What is there to hold on to anyway?
Expectations and promises,
The recognition, the credit
The long-awaited promotion?
But what is it that you are really waiting for?
A life waiting to be lived?

GPL 4/10/11

Letter to a Graduate (for my nephews and niece)

This summer, our family boasts of three new graduates covering the primary, secondary, and tertiary levels. My siblings, regular, hardworking people, are very proud indeed. Like all parents, the tradition of sending your kids to school to ensure them a bright future is still considered one of life’s greatest accomplishments. And for all of us who have labored in school, graduation is more than just a culmination of all your hard work, it is a great milestone in life.
For my nephew graduating from elementary, I always told you that you should learn all the basics in science, math, history and languages already, because these details won’t change and will keep haunting you until college. Since there’s no escaping it, better learn them all now. Who knows, these information may prove useful later on. One thing for sure, sometimes a little knowledge is perfect for impressing girls.
And for having “survived” elementary when most kids are most cruel, congratulations for rising above the bullying of both teachers and classmates. At this point, you must have realized your own innate worth and goodness. Whatever your peers called you or how your teachers labelled you, the only opinion about yourself that really matters is yours. So never lose faith in yourself.
An important lesson you may have learned from all the bullying is that now you know how it feels, and the memory of that pain and torment will remind you later on in life that it’s never nice to oppress or pick on the down-trodden. The experience may have taught you about your humanity, so I never begrudged you that one time you got yourself into a fight because you defended yourself. May you show the same zeal and righteousness as you fight for the rights of others when you get older.
To my nephew graduating high school, who was so pressured about getting into the “right” university. Know that elder siblings’ “successes” will always torment you, especially if they set such high standards. Your Dad did that to all of us six other children who followed. Only four of us managed to get into the State University as well, but no one was able to match his NSDB (now known as NSTA) scholarship. Nevertheless, the lesson is this – always be your own person. Soon you will realize that you shall follow your own Path, and your accomplishments and your failures will be your own. Things always turn out as they should in the end, and your life is what you make of it.
And to my niece in college who is so torn about choosing the best job offer. Money is always good since a fair compensation is a measure of the hard work required of you. But be reminded that sometimes wealth is not the answer to everything. Many successful people measured their accomplishments by how much they earned; yet in the end, they still searched for that sense of fulfilment. So consider what would really make you happy too, because a meaningful job that contributes to society is never a bad deal. Always think of a job as more than just a source of income, and you will be on the right track.
To a graduate, graduation is about moving on to the next stage in your life. Relish this moment, take time to look back at what you have accomplished. It will to give you the courage to face what comes next. This is a rite of passage, and you have proven yourself worthy.

Holy Week Escapes (or Rituals while Vacationing)

With Holy Week coming up, there is a mad rush to book accommodations and tickets for places far away from Manila. Since most people head off for beaches, most resorts at the popular coastlines or island paradise are already fully booked.
On the other hand, most Filipinos’ Catholic guilt kick in about this time too, and they opt for places which also provide some religious significance. While one’s own provincial hometown is always a safe choice, most vacation spots fortunately have enough churches to visit come Good Friday.
The Ilocos region has the best churches to do Visita Iglesia. Besides the proximity of the churches to each other that will easily allow you to comply with the standard 7-church visit, the beautiful Augustinian designs are always something to marvel at. The common bell tower-beside-the-main- church design, built with sand, coral and limestone mixed with eggs and molasses make for lasting structures that survived various earthquakes and human conflicts. Grand altars within recessed enclaves housing statuettes of known patron saints, twin pulpits hung on major pillars that also serve as strong foundations holding up the arching ceiling, an occasional ancient confessional or organ are among the things to watch out for in this walking lesson in Philippine history.
In the South, I believe Iloilo, especially Miag-ao, would be Ilocos’ closest rival in terms of grand churches. And also Bohol, even for the small island that it is, can also compete with Vigan and Laoag for the sheer number of churches it has. Besides the popular Baclayon and Loboc Churches, in and around Panglao island as well as the drive to Chocolate Hills will allow you to visit a few more churches.
The ritual of doing the Stations of the Cross is also a classic practice during Holy Week. And while all Catholic churches are required to have the full 14-scene Passion of Christ on their walls either by paintings or sculptures, there is nothing like life-size statues to pray to. In Cagayan Valley, the town of Iguig boasts of its bigger-than-life figures depicting Christ’s passion. Installed over a vast expanse of rolling hills, the whole scenery also has a wonderful view of one of Cagayan Valley’s largest rivers. Nearby, another relic of our colonial past, the remnants of the Church of St. James proudly stands. Together with the ruins of its ampitheater, it has survived earthquakes and fires to still be an operational parish till now.
Another must-see Stations of the Cross is the one on Camiguin Island. For this little island of numerous active volcanoes, their 14 scenes-of-the-Passion are actually built on a mountain (or a dormant volcano, I am told). The initial climb to the first few stations still have concrete steps or ramps and are posted quite close together. After some time, the scenes become farther apart and the walkway turns into a dirt road. The climb alone is enough to compose one’s penance for an entire Lenten season. But the view of the sea from this elevated portion of the island is a gift that more than compensates one’s sacrifice. Soon, the climb becomes steep as well, and without proper footwear, you can seriously slip on the gravel. For the faint of heart, the height at this point is quite nerve-wracking as the path also narrows and turns into sharp corners with scary drop-offs into ravines. Nevertheless, the sight is spectacular.
As I believe, being on vacation at some exotic tourist spot is not an excuse to miss doing one’s Lenten obligations. So this Holy Week, pick a good venue for your annual spiritual retreat as well.

Up North: The Wonder of Winaca-Tublay

As my friends have often said, there is more to Benguet than Baguio City. Some of them have gone up to La Trinidad and Sagada to enjoy the “dislocation” from urban life. And while Baguio will always hold a special place in my heart, I believed it was time to make new memories as well. So when the invitation to see Tublay came, I jumped at the chance; even if it’s only for a day.
My latest senior citizens talk was for the Federation of Senior Citizens Associations of the Philippines (FSCAP) representatives of the Cordillera region. Our venue was to be the Winaca Eco-Cultural Village, a new tourist attraction that is still in its development stage. Arriving at the site on the very night of the “Super Moon”, the rough roads and seeming isolated destination made for a perfect horror movie scene. It wasn’t until the next morning that we experienced its grandeur.
Our lodgings was a quaint, log cabin-style structure. Intended to house numerous guests, the three rooms were for sharing of three to four people with built-in double-deck beds. There were two baths and three toilets, and a living area. There was a functional fireplace and the wooden furniture were the classic, low seats of the region. I appreciated this little taste of Cordillera culture.
Waking up to a chilly dawn, I joined the seniors in their early morning trek. I marvelled, of course, at the view. Here the mountains are not as bare or heavily populated as in Baguio. Pine trees still abound and the village itself was purposely planted with ornamentals like anthuriums and orchids. As an eco-village, vegetables like tomatoes, lettuce, cabbage and carrots are also grown here, albeit organically. They also promote waste segregation and refuse is strictly identified as bio-degradable and non-biodegradable.
The mealtime fares were satisfying enough, but I heard Winaca is known for its signature Carrot Cakes. So besides the sweet, native strawberries from La Trinidad which I feasted on during this summer’s Strawberry Festival, I gorged on carrot cake as well.
There is a provision for an outdoor campfire for guests. Besides the hiking trail, other amenities to be enjoyed include wall-climbing facilities, a mudslide, a mini-obstacle course for teambuilding activities, fishing and horseback riding.
As a cultural attraction, life-size examples of native houses in the Cordillera are displayed. There’s the elevated huts-on-stilts of the Ifugaos, the slightly lower Bakun-Benguet huts, and the roof-dominated stonehouse of Sagada-Bontoc tribes.
While I have always been partial to nature-tripping, visiting new places always gave me the opportunity to experience nature in a different way. Up North, besides the cool weather it is known for, there is a rich indigenous peoples’ heritage that must be appreciated and preserved for all its historical and cultural value.
I found myself promising to return to this simple, yet almost “sacred” place.

Go West: The Treasures and Pleasures of Bolinao

It is always the beach that one runs to when one thinks about getting relaxed and refreshed. After a busy month, I felt so drained I needed to get away before I could get back to work again. Far-off Pangasinan was a perfect place, but I wasn’t prepared for how far off Bolinao was.
A drive to Pangasinan usually takes five hours, but it all depends on which route you take and what town you are heading for. The western municipalities of the province are known for Dagupan’s bangus fishponds and the seafood that abound in the Lingayen Gulf. It is also known for its beautiful beaches that stretch from San Fabian near Manaoag to Labrador and Bolinao.
Arriving at Puerto del Sol in Brgy. Ilog-Malino, the sight alone made the long trip worth it. The wide expanse of the beach revealed an open sea made safe only by a breakwater. Accompanied by a glaring sun, the sea breeze brought with it clean, fresh air in spite of the saltiness. Glancing at the white sand, I saw assorted shells and corals mingling with live seaweed that had floated unto the shore. There was even a seabird foraging along the mocca-colored sandbar exposed by the mid-day low tide. Little holes that punctured the sand signalled crabs were there. At this end of the Philippines, the sea is still brimming with life. Maybe that’s why there is a UP Marine Sanctuary nearby.
We enjoyed a sumptuous late lunch at La Playa, the veranda-like restaurant which looked out into the sea. This is where meals were usually served. But on extremely windy days, guests may eat in the indoor restaurant which was decorated with traditional Ilocano furniture. Its walls were heavily painted in yellow and the linings were mahogany brown. Post-modern paintings played harmoniously in the room that exuded a grand, yet old and musty aura. An old piano sat in a corner; its ivory was already turning yellow and some keys no longer played. Heavy wooden cabinets, tables and chairs adorned the rest of the space.
A pond outside not only had some fish, but actual red-eared turtles that regularly sunbathed on the rocks. That would certainly keep the kids entertained while they waited for their food. There is also a playground nearby that had swings, a slide, monkey bars and see-saws. A little way off near the gardens, there is another pond over which a small wooden bridge was built. Kids would love to play on that except that it’s now overgrown with vines and a suspicious black spider has a giant cobweb on it.
The gardens are quite something too. It can actually give Sonya’s Garden and the La Mesa Ecopark a run for their money in terms of plants and flowers. Ornamentals are planted all over – giant gumemelas in red, yellow, and peach, santan, as well as white and yellow oleanders. Just don't be surprised with the statuaries honoring the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Francis here, because the owners are probably devout Catholics.
As we were being shown to our deluxe lodgings in the Mansion Villas, I noticed that the walkway had a trellis covered with flowering bougainevillas. Besides keeping out the sun, these white and fuschia-colored flowers would greet your mornings as you look out from your room. With pipe-in music being played all around the resort, the atmosphere was a complete spa-like ambience.
In the Indonesian-inspired huts around the pool area, you can have your full-body massages, and manicures-pedicures. Lounging in the jacuzzi one morning, I looked up to see native swallows nesting in the cogon-thatched roof. Talk about communing with nature! As for other resort facilities, there is also a Game Room where adults can play billiards, pool, table tennis and darts. I was told videoke is also available and can be arranged by the resort.
Sunrise comes late to this westernmost part of Luzon and on my first morning there, I woke up at dawn to walk the beach. As I had hoped, the sea left many gifts by the shore. Besides seashells and corals, I even came across a live sea urchin before it was swept away by the waves. It was a good thing because people would soon come out to swim and woe to him/her who steps on the spines of that poor sea urchin.
For three days and two nights, I had my fill of swimming in the sea and the pool. So on the second morning of my stay, I decided to do as kids did and tried building a sandcastle. The soft, wet sand was perfect. But the tide was coming in and I had to work fast. I realized that what made sandcastle-building efficient during my youth was because I had my siblings with me. With no sisters around to get seawater to regularly douse my sandy fortress or to pick the best corals and shells to reinforce my grainy towers, my work of art was constantly in danger of crumbling. I finished it in time before the waves filled-in my miniature moat. Despite its rundown appearance, some guests liked it and even took photos of it to the delight of the resort personnel.
While my tired body enjoyed the adult pleasures of a massage, the jacuzzi, airconditioning and cable TV, the child in me was awakened by the simple joys of swimming, beachcombing, and even sandcastle building.
Since the resort staff were also locals, they boasted of other attractions in this distant gem of place. Besides their white sand beaches that are powdery-soft, unpolluted and still teeming with marine life, they have coral mountains that house beautiful caves. At the popular Enchanted Cave (site of Marian Rivera’s “Dyesebel”), fossilized coral line the hillside before revealing a magical underground cave that reminded me of Bohol. Before descending the steep stairs, we chance upon the halves of giant clams said to be millions of years old. These were clear evidence that many parts of the Philippines were really underwater many eons ago. Besides Enchanted Cave, there is also the Wonderful Cave and Cindy’s Cave which similarly had cool, freshwater to swim in.
On the way to see the famous Bolinao Lighthouse, we passed by Brgy. Patar’s rolling sand dunes and white sand beaches as magnificent as Boracay. With no protective breakwaters, and rock formations reminiscent of Currimao, Ilocos Norte rising like islets in the sea, these beaches had powerful waves crashing unto them. I was willing to bet the area also had some pretty strong undertows on bad days.
In Bolinao town proper, there’s the St. James the Great church. Reminiscent of our colonial past, it was built in 1607 and is considered one of the oldest churches in the Philippines. Made from the classic materials of eggyolk and molasses mixed with sand and coral stone, it must have survived numerous earthquakes in the past. There is likewise the Bolinao Museum which proudly displays geological and biological finds, as well as historical and archeological artifacts from a 14th century burial site, including some Chinese coins and pottery wares.
All in all, there is a lot to see and enjoy in Bolinao that would make the long drive worthwhile.

Journey

we knew where we wanted to go

shared that singular desire

to discover a place

we both knew existed

but was always beyond our grasp

we committed ourselves to the journey

braced ourselves for the long, bumpy road

prepared to get lost once in a while

and hoped to get back on track easily

we were fools, of course

reaching our destination

we made the most of our stay

enjoying every moment

yet knowing deep inside

it may not last forever after all

I realize I am

where I am suppose to be

I look back at all that has come to pass

my hardship, my pains

and this is what I got in return

I look at you beside me

seemingly content at what we have for now

it all becomes clear to me

we are here for a reason

a lesson to be learned for each other

-GPL 4/4/11