Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Beauty of Bohol Series: First Impressions, 2006

The Beauty of Bohol Series: First Impressions, 2006 After the big earthquake that devastated much of Bohol, I regretted not ever having written anything about this beautiful place. Maybe because it was one of my favourite hide-aways that I refused to divulge its secrets to others. But now, I am sad that I never spoke about the many reasons why people should visit Bohol at least once in their lifetime. They will never see it as I saw it then, as it was evolving as a prime tourist destination and must-see vacation spot. Bohol first captured my heart during a visit in 2006. I was still recovering from the end of a long-term relationship, and travelling was my only consolation. I did not know what the island had to offer in terms of tourism then, and I would’ve been happy to simply have an airconditioned room, with a bathtub, cable TV and room service during my entire stay there. But the rental car guy I contacted was too enterprising a businessman, that not only did he find me great and affordable hotel, he also doubled as a “tour guide” of sorts. And that was also the beginning of a lasting friendship with my “suki”, Rod. Over the years, I would keep recommending his services to both family and friends visiting Bohol. So there it is: one of Bohol’s great treasures is its wonderful people. First travel tip I learned in going to Bohol – you can double it with a side trip to Cebu. The plane fare is much cheaper to Cebu from Manila than going to Tagbilaran City directly. So take a day-tour or stay a few days in Cebu, before crossing over to Bohol via ferry boat from the port. One can have an itinerary much like a trip to Northern Mindanao’s Camiguin Island, where you can fly-in from Manila to Cagayan de Oro City, enjoy CDO’s sites or maybe drive over to Bukidnon for a day, before sailing off to have some beach fun at the island. And so it is that Bohol is famous for its nice beaches in Panglao island in particular. But for my first visit, I went to see its caves and hills, its various flora and fauna, just as its own kind of “eco-tourism” was being advertised then. Rod’s services includes airport or pier pick-ups, before dropping off your stuff at your lodgings. Travel tip No.2, if you aren’t there to enjoy the beach anyway and will just be spending most of your time checking out the different tourist spots all day, accommodations in Tagbilaran City proper area would suffice. There are a lot of bed and breakfasts, pension houses and motels you can choose from with clean, spacious and airconditioned rooms at a much cheaper price range. City-based hotels also abound and some of them have swimming pools which more than compensates for the lack of a beachfront view. Preliminaries over and done with, Rod whisked us off on a 7-spot tour right away. Our first stop was the Hinagdanan Cave in Dauis, Panglao Island. This underground tourist attraction boasts of a freshwater pool where people can take a quick dip. Be warned though that the stairs going down are quite steep and sometimes slippery. Hence, if you are with elderly companions or people afflicted with arthritic or weak knees, you can skip this tourist site. An underground cave, it has a few electric lights but having your own flashlight can still be useful if you wish to have a clearer view of its limestone stalactites and stalagmites.
Next up is the Blood Compact memorial which features life-size bronze statues depicting the historic meeting between the island’s chief, Datu Sikatuna and the Spaniard Miguel Lopez de Legaspi. Here they performed the ancient ritual of “sandugo” to forge peaceful and diplomatic ties. They say blood is drawn, not from the arm, but from the chest - just above the heart, and the blood is then collected and mixed with water or wine and equally divided to be drunk by the primary parties. Residents here believe the actual site of the blood compact is nearer one of the rivers, probably Loay, where Sikatuna and his party personally met Legaspi and his men. So this marker, for all its historic significance and appropriateness for photo-ops because of its great view, may not be that accurate after all. Next stop is Baclayon Church or what is actually the Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception parish. Admittedly one of the oldest churches in the Philippines, it was originally established in the 1500s and was used by the Jesuits. The Augustinians eventually took over and its reconstruction into the classic coralstone building is now their most valuable contribution. Like most churches, it was constructed utilizing forced labor of the locals. Boholanos were made to cut the coral straight from the sea and haul them inland to be mixed with eggs and molasses to bind them together. These carefully selected materials made for a strong structure that could endure the ravages of time. Till now, you can see corals and seashells imbedded in the limestone flooring near the façade of the church. Further on is another old church, Loboc’s the Church of San Pedro. This is where the Spanish friars moved their parish after realizing that Baclayon church’s location near the coastline exposed it to Moro marauders or pirates. The length of the Church of San Pedro spans a portion of the Loboc river and provides an awesome view of the waterway from the main road. However, the overflowing waters have flooded the church many times.
Near Loboc Church’s distant belltower, an unusual structure stands; an eye-sore of an unfinished bridge mars the landscape because of some government officials’ lack of respect for their Boholano heritage. Had the construction project pushed through, it would have entailed the demolition of one of their most popular parishes. By the river are boats that can be rented to give you a few minutes ride to the small waterfalls, or to the other end where the brackish water of the river meets the saltwater of the sea. The “Floating” Restaurant meals are “a-must” though, and most tourists take advantage of the midday break to enjoy the spot. Besides a relaxing boatride on the river and a buffet meal, there is likewise on-board singing to entertain you, so the reasonable fee they charge is well worth it. After taking in lunch at Loboc, we soon left to see the famous Chocolate Hills located in the distant town of Carmen. On the way, we passed by an area planted to numerous mahogany trees. A tree-planting project in the 1970s by the local Boy Scouts, it has now grown into a splendid forest known as the Man-made Forest of Bilar. Perfect for some outdoor picture-taking, it actually gives one a feeling of being in Europe or in North America. More than three decades since that seemingly irrelevant outdoor activity, the Bilar forest now seems a worthy natural investment. Still far from the actual look-out point of the Chocolate Hills, approaching the town of Carmen from the long winding road already gives one a glimpse of the curious mounds rising out of the plains. Several hills dot the landscape which in summer look like giant chocolates, but which in the rainy season appear verdant like avocado ice cream scoops. Travel tip No. 3, one must be physically fit or healthy enough for much of the walking and climbing to be done. Once again, one’s knees must be in tip-top shape to climb the hundred-or-so stairs to the look-out ridge. You can get about the same scenery at several rest-stops before the top if you’re not up to climbing all the way. The only difference is besides a “panoramic” view of the Chocolate Hills, there is also a bell and wishing well at the top which adds material to your photo album/scrapbook. On the way back, I told Rod I had to see Bohol’s unique marsupial, the tarsier. The Philippine Tarsier is such a rare animal and it is believed to be found only in the province of Bohol. Fortunately, the souvenir shop where we went also had a Tarsier Reserve of sorts. The cute creatures were no bigger than one’s hand and clung to tree branches, peacefully sleeping the day away. Once it gets dark, that’s when they move around and scavenge for their food in the forests. Since they are so sensitive, tourists can’t touch or pet them. We had to content ourselves with photos taken from our cellphones or cameras with flashes turned off. Since there was still some daylight left or because he likewise enjoyed touring me around, Rod took me to two other “tourist” spots worth visiting, but not really known to the other tour guides. The Hanging Bridge souvenir shop is where also the “buko-eating superman” lived. This middle-aged local man was already featured on Filipino television with his ability to crush open and shred a whole coconut with his bare teeth and hands only. For a small “donation”, he will show you his unique talent. A few kilometres away was also Prony, the over-sized pet of a Bohol resident. Caught from the wild as a young snake, this reticulated python grew so fast in size and was now a several inches thick and several meters long...unusual for its age. I was asking Rod so many questions about Bohol’s tourist spots and he gamely answered all my queries. Clearly, not only was he proficient in his home province’s unique features, he truly loved the places and things he grew up with and was proud to share them with visitors.
I would be back in Bohol many times over with family and loved ones, for leisure and for business. And each time, Bohol would have something new for me to see.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Secrets of Secluded Tuburan


The next day, we left early again. This time, it was in the opposite direction as we travelled to Tuburan, a coastal municipality on the other side of Cebu province. To cut our travel time, we were to cross over a central mountain range in the middle of the island. But we had to time our trip carefully so as to avoid the dangerous fog that made visibility difficult on the tortuous path. As we zig-zagged through the roads, the altitude likewise changed and we encountered some expected fog along the way. It made for some cool, even extra chilly, weather that reminded me so much of Tagaytay and Baguio during the rainy season. Tuburan is a small municipality which served as a port area for those travelling from Cebu to the neighboring island of Negros. Facing Tanon Strait, its pier is primarily for fishing-related activities and small vessels crossing over to Negros Oriental to ferry passengers. We proceeded to conduct our interviews at the office of the local social welfare officer. At least the seniors of Barili had their own building although they shared it with Persons with Disabilities (PWDs) and the kids of Day Care. Tuburan’s elderly had no such facility and we were all cramped in the Social Welfare Office, within hearing distance from each other. I saw one of the Lolas take my partner, Toni’s hand and volunteered to go first. As with our experience in Barili, we needed a Cebuano translator for our questions. Fortunately, I understood a little Bisaya and some of the seniors can understand English, but Tagalog is a language not quite useful in these parts. Like Barili, Tuburan is a “poorest of the poor” municipality and its populace are not of the “educated” sort. Most of these elderly only reached elementary education. Consider also the generation of these seniors whose parents put them to work in the fields and fishports as soon as they could to help with their family’s subsistence. Besides workforce considerations, I assume “early marriages” also contributed to the numerous children of these elderly. Most of them have an average of 8 to 9 kids, believe it or not. Yet we also found a possible candidate for the Centenarian Act gratuity award – an elderly woman who was past a 100 years old. As is my wont, after the interviews, I asked to be shown what Tuburan was all about. Fortunately, nearby was their “mini-museum” of sorts. Being the hometown of Gen. Arcadio Maxilom, a known Cebuano revolutionary who fought the Spaniards, a library and mini-museum is housed in a portion of the Tuburan municipal hall. With just a handful of artifacts and antiques that barely filled the room because most of the donors decided to bring home their family heirlooms, the townspeople clearly recognize the importance of their Cebuano heritage. Even the municipal hall itself with its original hardwood stairs and flooring could very well be a part of the historical displays. Afterwards, the municipal tourism officer went with us to guide us to their tourist nature sites. In Tuburan, it is not only human beings who can last long and grow to a ripe old age. They boast of a century-old tree that is so big, it is also known to be the palace of creatures from another world. Even the dry riverbed beside this giant tree is known for many supernatural stories such as the shining, golden ship that traverses it whenever waters flood this old waterway. Walking on this old riverbed with rocks that ranged from baseball size to basketballs, and a thick vegetation of deep forest trees all around, the scene can come straight from the pages of the “Lord of the Rings”, I tell you. Tuburan got its name from the numerous springs that abound in the area. One famous freshwater mountain spring is Molobolo which appears as a natural swimming pool beside a hill still planted to its original forest trees. This “bukal. is found so close to the coastline, its waters empty into the nearby beach and its saltwater sea. While there are a few huts and a canteen for food and beverages for visitors, the place can still do with a lot of improvements for its facilities to attract tourists. A cool dip in these waters – freshwater spring or the nearby beach would be so inviting to anyone in the summer heat I am sure. On the way back to Metro Cebu, we couldn’t resist the fresh fruit and vegetables for sale along the road. We got some very sweet bananas and yellow corn for our meryenda. After all the chicharon the previous day, this was a welcome diet, of course. Reflecting on our interviews the past two days, everything I heard from the seniors, and all I saw of the Cebu countryside, I felt very fortunate once again to have met new people and to have seen places not many visitors to Cebu get to see. What started as an unwelcome assignment became another experience to be cherished in my memory.

Quaint and Historic Carcar


Carcar City is a perfect example of how socio-political and religious life were so intermingled during the Spanish era. In the olden times, the municipal center is where the parish, its convent or rectory, the plaza, and a school usually converge. The nearer your residence is to the church, the higher is your family’s status in the community. So one should always be mindful of where you ancestral home is located. Today, the heart of Carcar City is the area where their old church, St.Catherine’s parish, the St. Catherine Catholic school, the public elementary school, and the city museum are situated. The old church alone is a sight to see and is comparable to the churches of Ilocos, Iloilo, and Bohol. St. Catherine’s has the same elaborate artwork on its ceiling, its interior lined with numerous images of saints, and its pillars marked by names of illustrious members of the community long –deceased. The traditional pulpit from where Sunday sermons are given still stand, perfectly preserved. And while the new pews have been commissioned to serve the parishioners, a few classically-designed pews made from solid Narra wood are still around. After gazing in amazement at the wondrous surroundings, I made my token three wishes for being a first time visitor at the church. At this point, I found Toni buying some candles from a little girl in a student’s uniform. After a short chat, I saw Toni pay her and give her a little extra cash. Later, Toni would tell me the little girl just came out of her classes but regularly sells candles by the church to help out with family expenses. Being a working student herself at one point, I understood why Toni sympathized with the child. Our next must-see stop was the Carcar Museum. Known as the Old Carcar Dispensary, it was a puericulture center once, a small nursing hospital which had a dispensary for giving out medication for women and children. Its very purpose and unique architecture speaks of the American influence on the township. It boasts of ornately-decorated balconies, mini-canopy- roofings and latticework straight out of the movie “Somewhere in Time”. It’s immaculate white paint completes the picture of a circa-1920s infrastructure, but inside are artifacts and antiques that go as far back as the 1800s. Depicted inside is the history and evolution of Cebu province, its indigenous culture, the Spanish and American influence that resulted in its unique Cebuano heritage. Before exiting Carcar, we just had to drop by for its famous chicharon. At the roadside pasalubong cum reststop, you can choose from pork rinds that have been perfectly “puffed”, salty, spicy, and sour chicharon, with or without “laman” or some vestige of meat attached to the skin, pork “cracklets” as well as the traditional rice puffs or “ampao”. So much for my midnight snack that evening.

Bucolic and Peaceful Barili


Arriving at the inconspicuous municipality of Barili, the local social welfare officer had made all necessary preparations and our elderly interviewees were patiently waiting already. After a brief introduction, we immediately proceeded to conduct our interviews which was made quicker because my partner, Toni was helping me out. I thought the day would pass uneventfully until the staff shared a story about a recently deceased senior citizen who claimed his social pension. I laughed, thinking it was a joke, until I saw they were actually serious. Apparently, we were discussing a supernatural encounter that still gives them goosebumps until now. They explained that the sick senior citizen wasn’t able to claim his pension during the previous pay-out and a week before the next quarterly pay-out, his family already informed the LGU staff about his passing. However, on the day itself, they were too busy to remember his death that the social welfare aide didn’t think any of it when she guided him to a chair and the municipal treasurer handed him his 1,500 cash. Only when they were finishing up did the old man’s daughter approach them and complain that she hadn’t been called to receive her father’s pension. It dawned on them that all of them actually saw the old man and lo and behold, even their attendance sheet contained an actual signature. However, counting their cash again, they discovered they still had the 1,500 that his daughter was entitled to. Weird you say, but the old man’s family is rumoured to be involved in some supernatural practices, including keeping a unusual animal as a familiar. Ah, the folklore in these parts! Before leaving though, I asked to see some sites their locality is proud of. Immediately, the MSWDO brought us to their old church. The parish used to be a district head, a “cabeza del partido” which had jurisdiction over other churches in southwestern Cebu and was only one of two secular parishes outside the city. It was smallish and the interior clearly had been remodelled already. It retained some of its original limestone foundation and walls though, some capiz shell windows and I suspect, the original bronze bell cherished by most churches as much as their statuettes and other relics. Dedicated to St. Anne, the original parish was built near the river but natural calamities kept destroying it. The present church was built around 1889 on a donated lot in its current location. Here we bought some candles to light from a few old ladies. Peddling their wares near the church, these female senior citizens find efficient use for their time finding a source of income for their families, at the same time being able to socialize with their fellow elderly. Next was their Mantayupan Falls, an easily accessible nature preserve and possible source of hydro power. It consists of three “miniature” waterfalls and a medium-size falls, but with the amount of water flowing, one can guess the power it can generate. There are also basic facilities for those who want to swim, reminiscent of Hinulugang Taktak in Rizal, but the real beauty of the site is to enjoy nature in its most raw form. I particularly appreciated Mantayupan Falls not just for its waterfalls, but for how close it can bring you to nature. On the way back, I convinced Ms.Temie to drop by Carcar if we had the time. Our driver graciously acquiesced to my request and I learned Carcar had more than just tasty pork rinds to be proud of.

Off The Beaten Path Series: Cross-Country Cebu


Off the Beaten Path Series: Cross-country in Cebu When people talk about going to Cebu, it’s usually about going around Cebu City proper and its nearby beaches in Mactan Island. It’s rare that people get to know the rest of Cebu as a province. Early this year, we were rushing to finish a research on the implementation of the Social Pension Program for seniors. I got assigned some far-flung municipalities in Cebu as well as Bohol. While I once did a “cross-country” trip of Negros island, I had never done so in Cebu. Touching down in Cebu, I quickly headed off to our Field Office to discuss our itinerary with the Focal Person for Senior Citizens, Ms.Temie. She said the towns of Tuburan and Barili were in opposite directions and we have to allot one day each for said visits. Travel time from Cebu city proper would average two hours each, so we had to leave at around 6:30 or 7:00 AM each morning. I guess I am one of the lucky ones who manage to do official work and still have time to appreciate the places I visit. Maybe it’s the adventurer in me, or the smart traveller, that makes it a point to make each trip worthwhile by seeing something new all the time. So we left early the next day, and headed south in the direction of Carcar City, a name synonymous with tasty Cebu chicharon. We took the coastal road that sent us across the port areas and gave a view of the channel as well as the open sea. We traversed Talisay City to San Fernando for a view of the rest of Cebu before we cut across to Carcar City. Always with an eye for old, turn-of-the century houses and colonial Churches, I observed how the rest of Cebu was touched by the Spanish occupation.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

This Being the National Family Week


This being the National Filipino Family Week, I've decided to write about some things that have been bugging me for quite some time. When people talk about "family", it always relates to "children", "marriage" and "the home". They always connect it with "wholesome" things...sometimes even Christian values and nation-building. Always "family" is about the politically-correct, the highly "acceptable" and society's "noble" aims. Yet the reality is that family matters also deal with sensitive subjects as sex, domestic violence, and child abuse. The basic societal unit that is the Family is faced with challenges attended by sexual infidelity, alcoholism, drug addiction, separations and abandonment. "Broken homes" are more prevalent than ever and issue of teen pregnancies is still a concern, but didn't quite work as an argument to support sex education and the RH law. God forbid, where does "the Family" stand now in terms of LGBT rights and SOGI issues? But avoid it as much as we can, nowhere else is LGBT human rights and the issue of sexual orientation and gender identity more relevant than in the realm of the home and family. Although there is still a common misconception that "homosexuality automaticall equals pedophilia", and "ALL LGBTs are sexual predators", maybe people should take a look again at child sexual abuse statistics. Facts and figure have consstently shown that a great percentage of child abuse is committed by adult males against female girls. Clearly, pedophiles and pederasts are not just gay men, and very rarely do we hear about lesbian pedophiles. Instead of looking at LGBTs as perpetrators all the time, let's take the additional lens of "minority" and look at the case of LGBT youth. For child rights advocates, it's time to do something for young LGBTs who get subjected to corporal punishment by their parents. Ask adult LGBTs now, and 8 out of 10 will say they experienced their first instance of discrimination or violence from their own families. Parents who couldn't accept their kids' homosexual tendencies resort to desperate measures - from verbal to physical abuse, to taking them out of school and depriving them of education, to subjecting lesbian daughters to corrective rapes. Ever listen to Gloc9's rap song "Sirena"? That simply came from a bad joke about a father who kept dunking his gay son in a barrel of water while asking him if he was a boy or a girl..eventually the almost drowned son gasps "I'm a mermaid". Documentation and researches done by LGBT activists about Pinoy LGBTs identified families and homes as one of the primary societal institutions that perpetrate homophobia, discrimination and violence. While one's family and home is usually a person's sanctuary, a refuge and a source of solace...for LGBTs who are not accepted by their parents, it is a great stressor. So for an LGBT who is already unable to come out to classmates, friends or officesmates, or is regularly subjected to discrimination in the community, there is simply nowehere to run if even your family doesn't have your back. Again, for young LGBTs, when the personal turmoil caused by one's sexual orientation and gender identity proves too much to bear, it drives many to self-destructive behavior like substance abuse and even suicide attempts. Ask any "out" LGBT, and while they many seem stable and confident now, you wll be surprised how many passed the stage of attempting to hurt themselves when they were young and scared. Recently, I have been interviewed by several psychology students from an assortment of schools and universities like Perpetual Help-Binan, Letran, San Beda, and PUP. I am happy to note that many of them have an honest-to-goodness desire to contribute to the database of knowledge on LGBT psyche and to recommend more positive strategies in dealing with LGBT issues. One thesis is looking into how supportive parents and families influenced well-adjusted and successful adult LGBTs, another research is touching on the effect of LGBT advocacy groups on more LGBT individuals "coming-out of the closet" and living honest, productive lives, and another study is about the increasing visibility and availability of "positive" LGBT role models for the young. I remember the days when it was only Margie Holmes who gave a respectful and sympathetic perspective of LGBTs. And even when the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP) already gave a position supportive of LGBT human rights, many psychologists and psychiatrists still went on Philippine TV to promote gay conversion therapy and call homosexuality a mental disorder. Heck, both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association removed inversion and homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in the 1970s! While many women NGOs have taken up the cudgels for LGBT rights, I am still hoping more child rights advocates will also stand with us. Most of all, those working for "strengthening and keeping the Filipino family together" consider how LGBTs are treated within our own families. Even with the theme "Unity Across the Generations", ever wonder what happens to ageing and sick LGBTs who have long been disowned by their families and are now alone and impoverished? Who takes care of these "golden gays"? And what about children of LGBT parents, will you add to the stigma and marginalization by not recognizing their households as "real families"? Just because the DepEd course modules still teach the "traditional" family composition of "father, mother, kuya, ate, baby, Dog Tagpi and Miming, the Cat...shall we continue to emphasize gender roles and patriarchal systems, instead of true family values of love, respect and mutual support? I have recently become a parent and this concept of family has more meaning to me than ever...I try to inculcate in my kid everything I learned from my parents and my own family ever since childhood. But while she has enough male role models to look up to, I don't think she bothers too much with gender stereotypes. What is important to her is that we eat breakfast together, say "goodnight" and "I love you" before we go to sleep, and walk hand-in-hand whenever we go out. It seems clear to her that THAT IS what we mean by FAMILY..

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Why My Personal IS Political


I’ve always said my life is an open book; what you see is what you get. One of my friends even say knowing me is like reading a good book. With the recent popularity of social media sites, everybody has taken to the internet to reconnect with the rest of humanity - me included. We all post blow-by-blow accounts of how our day went on our status, post photos from trips and of activities, advertise and announce plans, etc. Like many others, I also post stuff about the current state of my lovelife and while I certainly make some family members and acquaintances cringe from all the mushiness, I have to admit I do it consciously. I am an LGBT activist, a human rights defender of sexual minorities. My advocacy work is a difficult one because unlike certain public interest causes like the environment, women’s welfare or children’s rights which enjoy some popularity, mine still doesn’t have that degree of “acceptability”. Imagine it as a numberline; while others start off at “zero”, LGBT advocates begin at “negative 1”. While no one would openly challenge the legitimacy of advocating for the environment or the human rights of other sectors, we always have to contend with opposition from the religious and the conservatives. Moreover, as human rights defenders, we not only fight for the rights of others, but for our own. We know what we are talking about because we are victims ourselves, or are actually exposed to the very same risks. Nowhere else is the saying “what is political IS personal” than in LGBT rights advocacy. Thus, indulge me as I post sometimes very sensitive matters, topics which may still seem “controversial” to some such as same-sex couples, transgender rights, or gay parenting. That is exactly my objective – to sensitize my friends and colleagues to LGBT issues through a peek at my own life. Indeed, I am still your sister, your cousin, your best friend, your classmate, your sorority sister. We grew up in the same household, played together, had the same upbringing, yet I still ended up falling in love with a person of the same sex. I studied and worked beside you, worried for exams and had crazy fun as you at university. You liked me then and befriended me for the person I was…does it matter now that I am married to another female? You may not like it about how I share my happiness at falling deeply in love, the same way that you offered no sympathy for each heartache I experienced because you believe relationships like ours were not meant to be. But I want you to be on the same emotional roller-coaster ride and decide for yourself if my experiences were any different from yours when you met your future husband or broke up with your first love. Today, we worry about the same things – doing household chores, paying bills, raising our kids. We go to work, we change jobs, we sometimes even go to church on Sundays and visit our elderly parents. I suspect we view our concerns with the same importance as you do yours. So tell me again why we need to be treated differently? Let me just say this – when I first had a lesbian wedding thirteen years ago, not everyone we invited came. They made up flimsy excuses such as doing some grocery shopping or overtime work at the office. Family members couldn’t believe it and even laughed. When I had another commitment ceremony this year, well-wishers were congratulating me for three straight weeks. Greetings came from all over the globe - from former classmates, to sorority sisters, ex-colleagues and even to officemates. Finally, the world had changed enough for people to understand how significant this day was for me…Finally, people know enough to allow me my happiness in this life, too.