Quaint and Historic Carcar

Carcar City is a perfect example of how socio-political and religious life were so intermingled during the Spanish era. In the olden times, the municipal center is where the parish, its convent or rectory, the plaza, and a school usually converge. The nearer your residence is to the church, the higher is your family’s status in the community. So one should always be mindful of where you ancestral home is located. Today, the heart of Carcar City is the area where their old church, St.Catherine’s parish, the St. Catherine Catholic school, the public elementary school, and the city museum are situated. The old church alone is a sight to see and is comparable to the churches of Ilocos, Iloilo, and Bohol. St. Catherine’s has the same elaborate artwork on its ceiling, its interior lined with numerous images of saints, and its pillars marked by names of illustrious members of the community long –deceased. The traditional pulpit from where Sunday sermons are given still stand, perfectly preserved. And while the new pews have been commissioned to serve the parishioners, a few classically-designed pews made from solid Narra wood are still around. After gazing in amazement at the wondrous surroundings, I made my token three wishes for being a first time visitor at the church. At this point, I found Toni buying some candles from a little girl in a student’s uniform. After a short chat, I saw Toni pay her and give her a little extra cash. Later, Toni would tell me the little girl just came out of her classes but regularly sells candles by the church to help out with family expenses. Being a working student herself at one point, I understood why Toni sympathized with the child. Our next must-see stop was the Carcar Museum. Known as the Old Carcar Dispensary, it was a puericulture center once, a small nursing hospital which had a dispensary for giving out medication for women and children. Its very purpose and unique architecture speaks of the American influence on the township. It boasts of ornately-decorated balconies, mini-canopy- roofings and latticework straight out of the movie “Somewhere in Time”. It’s immaculate white paint completes the picture of a circa-1920s infrastructure, but inside are artifacts and antiques that go as far back as the 1800s. Depicted inside is the history and evolution of Cebu province, its indigenous culture, the Spanish and American influence that resulted in its unique Cebuano heritage. Before exiting Carcar, we just had to drop by for its famous chicharon. At the roadside pasalubong cum reststop, you can choose from pork rinds that have been perfectly “puffed”, salty, spicy, and sour chicharon, with or without “laman” or some vestige of meat attached to the skin, pork “cracklets” as well as the traditional rice puffs or “ampao”. So much for my midnight snack that evening.

Bucolic and Peaceful Barili

Arriving at the inconspicuous municipality of Barili, the local social welfare officer had made all necessary preparations and our elderly interviewees were patiently waiting already. After a brief introduction, we immediately proceeded to conduct our interviews which was made quicker because my partner, Toni was helping me out. I thought the day would pass uneventfully until the staff shared a story about a recently deceased senior citizen who claimed his social pension. I laughed, thinking it was a joke, until I saw they were actually serious. Apparently, we were discussing a supernatural encounter that still gives them goosebumps until now. They explained that the sick senior citizen wasn’t able to claim his pension during the previous pay-out and a week before the next quarterly pay-out, his family already informed the LGU staff about his passing. However, on the day itself, they were too busy to remember his death that the social welfare aide didn’t think any of it when she guided him to a chair and the municipal treasurer handed him his 1,500 cash. Only when they were finishing up did the old man’s daughter approach them and complain that she hadn’t been called to receive her father’s pension. It dawned on them that all of them actually saw the old man and lo and behold, even their attendance sheet contained an actual signature. However, counting their cash again, they discovered they still had the 1,500 that his daughter was entitled to. Weird you say, but the old man’s family is rumoured to be involved in some supernatural practices, including keeping a unusual animal as a familiar. Ah, the folklore in these parts! Before leaving though, I asked to see some sites their locality is proud of. Immediately, the MSWDO brought us to their old church. The parish used to be a district head, a “cabeza del partido” which had jurisdiction over other churches in southwestern Cebu and was only one of two secular parishes outside the city. It was smallish and the interior clearly had been remodelled already. It retained some of its original limestone foundation and walls though, some capiz shell windows and I suspect, the original bronze bell cherished by most churches as much as their statuettes and other relics. Dedicated to St. Anne, the original parish was built near the river but natural calamities kept destroying it. The present church was built around 1889 on a donated lot in its current location. Here we bought some candles to light from a few old ladies. Peddling their wares near the church, these female senior citizens find efficient use for their time finding a source of income for their families, at the same time being able to socialize with their fellow elderly. Next was their Mantayupan Falls, an easily accessible nature preserve and possible source of hydro power. It consists of three “miniature” waterfalls and a medium-size falls, but with the amount of water flowing, one can guess the power it can generate. There are also basic facilities for those who want to swim, reminiscent of Hinulugang Taktak in Rizal, but the real beauty of the site is to enjoy nature in its most raw form. I particularly appreciated Mantayupan Falls not just for its waterfalls, but for how close it can bring you to nature. On the way back, I convinced Ms.Temie to drop by Carcar if we had the time. Our driver graciously acquiesced to my request and I learned Carcar had more than just tasty pork rinds to be proud of.

Off The Beaten Path Series: Cross-Country Cebu

Off the Beaten Path Series: Cross-country in Cebu When people talk about going to Cebu, it’s usually about going around Cebu City proper and its nearby beaches in Mactan Island. It’s rare that people get to know the rest of Cebu as a province. Early this year, we were rushing to finish a research on the implementation of the Social Pension Program for seniors. I got assigned some far-flung municipalities in Cebu as well as Bohol. While I once did a “cross-country” trip of Negros island, I had never done so in Cebu. Touching down in Cebu, I quickly headed off to our Field Office to discuss our itinerary with the Focal Person for Senior Citizens, Ms.Temie. She said the towns of Tuburan and Barili were in opposite directions and we have to allot one day each for said visits. Travel time from Cebu city proper would average two hours each, so we had to leave at around 6:30 or 7:00 AM each morning. I guess I am one of the lucky ones who manage to do official work and still have time to appreciate the places I visit. Maybe it’s the adventurer in me, or the smart traveller, that makes it a point to make each trip worthwhile by seeing something new all the time. So we left early the next day, and headed south in the direction of Carcar City, a name synonymous with tasty Cebu chicharon. We took the coastal road that sent us across the port areas and gave a view of the channel as well as the open sea. We traversed Talisay City to San Fernando for a view of the rest of Cebu before we cut across to Carcar City. Always with an eye for old, turn-of-the century houses and colonial Churches, I observed how the rest of Cebu was touched by the Spanish occupation.

This Being the National Family Week

This being the National Filipino Family Week, I've decided to write about some things that have been bugging me for quite some time. When people talk about "family", it always relates to "children", "marriage" and "the home". They always connect it with "wholesome" things...sometimes even Christian values and nation-building. Always "family" is about the politically-correct, the highly "acceptable" and society's "noble" aims. Yet the reality is that family matters also deal with sensitive subjects as sex, domestic violence, and child abuse. The basic societal unit that is the Family is faced with challenges attended by sexual infidelity, alcoholism, drug addiction, separations and abandonment. "Broken homes" are more prevalent than ever and issue of teen pregnancies is still a concern, but didn't quite work as an argument to support sex education and the RH law. God forbid, where does "the Family" stand now in terms of LGBT rights and SOGI issues? But avoid it as much as we can, nowhere else is LGBT human rights and the issue of sexual orientation and gender identity more relevant than in the realm of the home and family. Although there is still a common misconception that "homosexuality automaticall equals pedophilia", and "ALL LGBTs are sexual predators", maybe people should take a look again at child sexual abuse statistics. Facts and figure have consstently shown that a great percentage of child abuse is committed by adult males against female girls. Clearly, pedophiles and pederasts are not just gay men, and very rarely do we hear about lesbian pedophiles. Instead of looking at LGBTs as perpetrators all the time, let's take the additional lens of "minority" and look at the case of LGBT youth. For child rights advocates, it's time to do something for young LGBTs who get subjected to corporal punishment by their parents. Ask adult LGBTs now, and 8 out of 10 will say they experienced their first instance of discrimination or violence from their own families. Parents who couldn't accept their kids' homosexual tendencies resort to desperate measures - from verbal to physical abuse, to taking them out of school and depriving them of education, to subjecting lesbian daughters to corrective rapes. Ever listen to Gloc9's rap song "Sirena"? That simply came from a bad joke about a father who kept dunking his gay son in a barrel of water while asking him if he was a boy or a girl..eventually the almost drowned son gasps "I'm a mermaid". Documentation and researches done by LGBT activists about Pinoy LGBTs identified families and homes as one of the primary societal institutions that perpetrate homophobia, discrimination and violence. While one's family and home is usually a person's sanctuary, a refuge and a source of solace...for LGBTs who are not accepted by their parents, it is a great stressor. So for an LGBT who is already unable to come out to classmates, friends or officesmates, or is regularly subjected to discrimination in the community, there is simply nowehere to run if even your family doesn't have your back. Again, for young LGBTs, when the personal turmoil caused by one's sexual orientation and gender identity proves too much to bear, it drives many to self-destructive behavior like substance abuse and even suicide attempts. Ask any "out" LGBT, and while they many seem stable and confident now, you wll be surprised how many passed the stage of attempting to hurt themselves when they were young and scared. Recently, I have been interviewed by several psychology students from an assortment of schools and universities like Perpetual Help-Binan, Letran, San Beda, and PUP. I am happy to note that many of them have an honest-to-goodness desire to contribute to the database of knowledge on LGBT psyche and to recommend more positive strategies in dealing with LGBT issues. One thesis is looking into how supportive parents and families influenced well-adjusted and successful adult LGBTs, another research is touching on the effect of LGBT advocacy groups on more LGBT individuals "coming-out of the closet" and living honest, productive lives, and another study is about the increasing visibility and availability of "positive" LGBT role models for the young. I remember the days when it was only Margie Holmes who gave a respectful and sympathetic perspective of LGBTs. And even when the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP) already gave a position supportive of LGBT human rights, many psychologists and psychiatrists still went on Philippine TV to promote gay conversion therapy and call homosexuality a mental disorder. Heck, both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association removed inversion and homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in the 1970s! While many women NGOs have taken up the cudgels for LGBT rights, I am still hoping more child rights advocates will also stand with us. Most of all, those working for "strengthening and keeping the Filipino family together" consider how LGBTs are treated within our own families. Even with the theme "Unity Across the Generations", ever wonder what happens to ageing and sick LGBTs who have long been disowned by their families and are now alone and impoverished? Who takes care of these "golden gays"? And what about children of LGBT parents, will you add to the stigma and marginalization by not recognizing their households as "real families"? Just because the DepEd course modules still teach the "traditional" family composition of "father, mother, kuya, ate, baby, Dog Tagpi and Miming, the Cat...shall we continue to emphasize gender roles and patriarchal systems, instead of true family values of love, respect and mutual support? I have recently become a parent and this concept of family has more meaning to me than ever...I try to inculcate in my kid everything I learned from my parents and my own family ever since childhood. But while she has enough male role models to look up to, I don't think she bothers too much with gender stereotypes. What is important to her is that we eat breakfast together, say "goodnight" and "I love you" before we go to sleep, and walk hand-in-hand whenever we go out. It seems clear to her that THAT IS what we mean by FAMILY..

Why My Personal IS Political

I’ve always said my life is an open book; what you see is what you get. One of my friends even say knowing me is like reading a good book. With the recent popularity of social media sites, everybody has taken to the internet to reconnect with the rest of humanity - me included. We all post blow-by-blow accounts of how our day went on our status, post photos from trips and of activities, advertise and announce plans, etc. Like many others, I also post stuff about the current state of my lovelife and while I certainly make some family members and acquaintances cringe from all the mushiness, I have to admit I do it consciously. I am an LGBT activist, a human rights defender of sexual minorities. My advocacy work is a difficult one because unlike certain public interest causes like the environment, women’s welfare or children’s rights which enjoy some popularity, mine still doesn’t have that degree of “acceptability”. Imagine it as a numberline; while others start off at “zero”, LGBT advocates begin at “negative 1”. While no one would openly challenge the legitimacy of advocating for the environment or the human rights of other sectors, we always have to contend with opposition from the religious and the conservatives. Moreover, as human rights defenders, we not only fight for the rights of others, but for our own. We know what we are talking about because we are victims ourselves, or are actually exposed to the very same risks. Nowhere else is the saying “what is political IS personal” than in LGBT rights advocacy. Thus, indulge me as I post sometimes very sensitive matters, topics which may still seem “controversial” to some such as same-sex couples, transgender rights, or gay parenting. That is exactly my objective – to sensitize my friends and colleagues to LGBT issues through a peek at my own life. Indeed, I am still your sister, your cousin, your best friend, your classmate, your sorority sister. We grew up in the same household, played together, had the same upbringing, yet I still ended up falling in love with a person of the same sex. I studied and worked beside you, worried for exams and had crazy fun as you at university. You liked me then and befriended me for the person I was…does it matter now that I am married to another female? You may not like it about how I share my happiness at falling deeply in love, the same way that you offered no sympathy for each heartache I experienced because you believe relationships like ours were not meant to be. But I want you to be on the same emotional roller-coaster ride and decide for yourself if my experiences were any different from yours when you met your future husband or broke up with your first love. Today, we worry about the same things – doing household chores, paying bills, raising our kids. We go to work, we change jobs, we sometimes even go to church on Sundays and visit our elderly parents. I suspect we view our concerns with the same importance as you do yours. So tell me again why we need to be treated differently? Let me just say this – when I first had a lesbian wedding thirteen years ago, not everyone we invited came. They made up flimsy excuses such as doing some grocery shopping or overtime work at the office. Family members couldn’t believe it and even laughed. When I had another commitment ceremony this year, well-wishers were congratulating me for three straight weeks. Greetings came from all over the globe - from former classmates, to sorority sisters, ex-colleagues and even to officemates. Finally, the world had changed enough for people to understand how significant this day was for me…Finally, people know enough to allow me my happiness in this life, too.

A Poem (for Toni)

"The moment my lips touched yours, we sealed a promise that our hearts conveyed over hundreds of miles and numerous phone calls I was yours, as you were mine; hands clasping for the first time, we embarked on a journey that proved to be the adventure of a lifetime. It will culminate in a celebration, a sharing of mutual vows, bonds that will never be broken, as yearning turned to reality the day we found each other..." gpL 8/9/2013

When the Fruit Falls Far from the Tree (The Disappointment that is Lagman)

They always say a fruit doesn't fall far from the tree..but so it goes that some offsprings are often big disappointments compared to their parents. Too often have we seen this in the Philippine setting. The LGBT Community was one with the women's sector in supporting Edcel Lagman's RH bill, and rightly so for this concerns gender and sexuality issues that go beyond female sexual and reproductive rights and health. Now, his son turns around and betrays us. Grex Lagman's bill seeking to punish LGBTs who have affairs with married folk is an obvious over-reaction after the nation's seeming preoccupation with the telenovela "My Husband's Lover". For those living deceptive married lives, this show clearly raised some ghosts and it has scared many people in heterosexual relationships who are by no means monogamous and faithful. Lagman, Jr. claims this is a step towards "gender equality", but his intentions are painfully misguided. As a lawyer, he should have known that the "gender equality" being proposed in harmonizing the Revised Penal Code's adultery and concubinage provisions relates to the circumstances by how the offenses are committed. Married women are easily punished under the adultery provision while married men's infidelity is harder to prove under the concubinage provision. Remembering one's criminal law from the college of law, even mere suspicion of a woman's conduct makes her liable while a man must be proven to have brought home his mistress or has actually put her up or maintains her some place. The equal treatment of sexual infidelity under the law is the objective here. For LGBTs, this will only reinforce the stigmatization of same-sex relations. Grex Lagman obviously doesn't grasp the real situation of Pinoy LGBTs who by virtue of the prevalent homophobia, many are forced to enter into heterosexual relationships. It is because of societal pressures that they eventually get married, but in the long run still fall back into the homosexual proclivities. So because of this "weakness of character" and sheer cowardice, LGBTs will now be doubly punished for living secret lives and their same-sex lovers along with them. Already in many annulment cases and child custody battles, an alleged homosexual or lesbian affair is thrown in to muddle the issue and portray one party to be immoral and unfit as a parent. Now, besides this family law complication, an LGBT who has decided to be true to himself or herself will run the risk of being criminally sanctioned as well. This is a "no-win" situation for Pinoy LGBTs...because you were a "coward and stupid enough to get married", you stand no chance at achieving happiness or even a respite from your lie-of-a-married life. Similarly, woe to an LGBT lover who falls for a legally married partner. The "misery" currently being experienced by Filipino LGBTs from homophobia and discrimination every day of their lives is bad enough...no need to add unto this suffering by criminalizing them. I believe the Filipino LGBT Community's "real" friends and supporters in the women's advocacy, as well as enlightened legislators and policy-makers truly comprehend this, not just those masquerading as gender advocates and human rights defenders.