My Toni and Baby IV

Being in my early 40s, I finally made like Brad Pitt and became a parent. Of course that began with finding my own Angelina Jolie first. Right, Toni? ;) But I think my own Dad was roughly my age when I was born to him and my Mom. Funny that my partner, Toni is around my Mom’s age then, and we laugh about the many parallels we share with them now. My Dad used to joke that he was already having court hearings at Vigan’s city hall while my Mom was a high school student playing volleyball at nearby St. Paul’s campus in the 1950s. Meanwhile, I told Toni my first visit to Tuguegarao was in the early 2000s when I was with the National Amnesty Commission giving out amnesty grant certificates to former NPAs. I visited their Sts. Peter and Paul Cathedral and marvelled at the old house at a street corner where young Paulinians kept walking by. How was I supposed to know that was her Lola’s home and she could be one of those cute colegialas I was ogling. My parents had a 12-year age difference, while Toni and I have 13 years between us. Could that be a problem, you ask? Didn’t bother my parents then, and so far it hasn’t been an issue with Toni and myself. Her youth brings energy and laughter to our relationship, while my maturity hopefully gives a bit of stability and wisdom to our partnership. Like my Mom who came into a built-in family since my Dad had four young children from his previous marriage, I too became an instant parent with Toni’s 2 year old baby girl. And just as my step-brothers and sisters treated my Mom, I don’t think it matters to baby IV if I didn’t really have a biological participation in her coming into this world. She’s only concerned if I willingly wake up in the middle of the night to prepare her another bottle of milk, or if I help her mommy change her stinky diapers each time she soils them, and if I come home to them from work every day. And that explains why both baby and mommy don’t like it so much if I travel too long – they have separation anxiety and it disrupts their daily schedule of joining me for breakfast and of waiting for me for dinner. I honestly enjoy all the travelling associated with my official work and various advocacies. But lately, I am hesitant to leave for any trips that will involve more than 2 days. Although I still get excited about visiting new places, I always end up wishing Toni was with me and I couldn’t wait to go back home to see my little girl. Yes, there is a great “slowing down” happening in my life right now, but it doesn’t mean my world has stopped spinning or that my environment has “shrunk”. Parenthood just opened up new doors for me and my everyday life is like a merry-go-round and ferris’ wheel all rolled into one. Baby IV has us on a dizzying cycle of milk bottles, diaper changes, baths, feeding, and play times. There are lots of highs and lows of quality family bonding time at home, field trips to the zoo, emergency visits to the doctor, and pressure from extended expenses. Our bedroom once sacred and devoted to sleep and “sexy time” is now a venue for ruckus and rumpus even at 12 midnight. And as she is quickly growing up on us, she has learned to pick her own dresses and shop for her own shoes. Yup, she is already “Imeldific” at age 2 and a half. Yes, I have officially entered middle-age and my life is crazy, happy right now.

On My 43rd

This year’s birthday affirmed so many things for me and reminded me again what this singular life is made of. Once a year you get to look back and be grateful for being born on this earth, and you remember the important things. This year, I am especially thankful for my family, Toni and baby IV, and all the wonderful possibilities there is yet to come. Not all of my birthdays were happily spent, mind you. While I remember awesome celebrations of my youth like that costume party on my 7th birthday, and the unique “come-as-you-are”- themed debutante’s ball on my 18th, there were also great upheavals occurring on the eve of my natal day. There was the time I had to leave home and make it on my own, thereby cancelling a scheduled birthday party. There was a relationship break-up as well, that couldn’t have come at a more opportune occasion. There were also at least three (3) birthdays I had to be on the road for work. There was that time the Office sent me to La Union to conduct a Fact-Finding Investigation, another time I was sent to Region X for a KALAHI-CIDDS gender monitoring-exposure trip, and just last year, I was in Palawan to lecture on RA9994 to my dear senior citizens. At some point, the local officials took pity on me and threw me a bone. Then-FO X Regional Director Ester Versoza sent me to Camiguin island to cheer me up for my birthday in 2003, and the local social welfare officer of Puerto Princesa managed to arrange for us to visit the Underground River even if the tour was fully booked in May 2012. Every year, my physical body has several reminders for me too – a few more gray hairs on my head that needs to be dyed, that seeming proclivity for early bedtimes after skipping those late night outs, and that inevitable reliance on maintenance drugs to control my hypertension and high blood sugar. These are gentle reminders of our mortality and why we must make each day count before our final exit. I accept this with great humility as evidence of time passing. The amount of birthday greetings one receives is also a glaring proof of how many people you have met in this life and who actually remember you fondly. This is true even for your own family members and close friends. Your siblings and cousins may forget to greet you, but the one person you owe a tribute to is the woman who gave birth to you. I’ve known Moms who forget to greet their own child, but on my birthdays, the first person I always remember to call is my Mom. I always get her something to celebrate with – flowers or her favourite seafood goodies. So notice how my Facebook photos always features her every May 28th. And speaking of greetings, I have been fortunate to have “lived many lives” in my 40-something years. I treasure all the people I’ve met, all the places I’ve been to, and each and every life I’ve come to know. I marvel at how old classmates from high school re-surface just to greet me, how sorority sisters and fraternity brods from college who manage to re-connect with me after all these years, friends from law school who sneaked in a little time from their admittedly very busy work schedules for a short greeting. Know that like everyone else accumulating the years, when there is a seeming dearth of true friends, these bday greetings from all over the world are nevertheless deeply appreciated by yours-truly. For me, every birthday is living proof of life and love – how it touches and changes us. So never make it about just the years passing, remember to make it a celebration of life.

My "Jetsetting" 2012

In 2011, I complained about a hectic month of March which left me totally exhausted and in need of some rest & recreation. I spoke too soon, for my 2012 was just as busy, where each month was a whirlwind of travels addressing senior citizens concerns, solo parents amendments and LGBT issues. Not since 2006 did I get as much local and international trips. Unfortunately, these also came at the heels of a personal loss and an end of a relationship. My absence caused by all this running around was allegedly the cause of my break-up. But admittedly, just like before, I was probably just using my trips as an escape from my unhappy home. It began in March with a special invitation from a human rights colleague to join them in Geneva, Switzerland for the first ever United Nations Human Rights Council session tackling Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) issues or Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) rights. With the landmark report on the status of LGBTs around the world, both the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon and UN High Commissioner on Human Rights Navi Pillay expressed full support for promoting and protecting the rights of LGBTs everywhere. Meanwhile, locally, I travelled to Calasiao, Pangasinan for a regional forum and assessment of Republic Act No. 9994 with the Senior Citizens Partylist congressional representative. This was to be followed by a visit to Tuguegarao City, Cagayan Valley in April where I experienced the hottest day in the year in the hottest place in the Philippines. But May was probably the craziest. I had a Bureau-wide Team-Building activity to start the month, a rushed Ilocos weekend with my Mom as is our wont every summer, before I headed for Sablayan, Occidental Mindoro for another Senior Citizens forum. I came back to Manila for Rainbow Rights Project’s 3-day Paralegal Training and then left again for Puerto Princesa, Palawan where I spent my 42nd birthday lecturing to another set of senior citizens. I never realized then how much of myself I was sacrificing already. That proved to be a crucial time, for when I came back again, I discovered my four and a half year old relationship was about to end. Although I was surprised, I did not feel too bad about the separation. It already took a long time coming and I considered my newfound freedom as a birthday gift. I promised myself I wouldn’t waste too much time, so I allowed myself to grieve for around a week and promised myself I’d start enjoying myself again. I opened myself up to possibilities, a chance to be happy once more. And it didn’t take long, because by the time I was on my next lecture engagement in Laguna for Region 4A’s seniors, I also had a new lovelife. Life goes on after all. By the end of June, I was excited to visit General Santos and Koronadal City for the first time. Although it was a week-long, fulltime, secretariat work for the DSWD Mid-year NMDC, I wanted to make the most of the experience. That week’s highlight was a taste of the “Pagana Maranao” ritual feast and trying out the highest zipline in the Philippines. At Lake Sebu, with a backdrop of several fantastic waterfalls, I took flight on one of the scariest ziplines for the sheer drop into one of the deepest gorges in the country. It was a “force of habot” - I always make it a point to make the most of my travels, After doing my official work, I always find time to enjoy myself. Work hard, play hard – that’s my motto. July entered with me leaving for Chiang Mai, Thailand to speak at an Asian regional women’s rights conference. It gave me a chance to reconnect with our women’s NGO networks and I bonded with some veteran women’s human rights defenders. I saw some Buddhist temples and got an authentic Thai Massage, before I rushed back to Manila so I can sneak in some quality time with my new partner, Toni in Iloilo and Guimaras island. That weekend was short but as sweet as the mangoes of that paradise isaland, Guimaras. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my new girlfriend just yet to give a talk in Albay, so I brought her with me to Legaspi City so she can also see the majestic Mt. Mayon. Difficult to mix one’s work with personal time, but sometimes we get lucky and manage to do so. While I originally planned for August to be somewhat of a respite, when I could finally move into a new place and adjust to a new homelife, more surprises were to come. Toni’s baby, Irene Venice arrived with her yaya as we settled into our rented house. But with new responsibilities in my personal life, there also came new assignments at work. A new sector was added unto my already full plate, the Solo Parents. But like always, it was a sector too close to home and hence, I felt a personal stake in it as well. I did back-to-back visits to Pampanga in Region 3, and to DSWD-NCR in Manila for Solo Parents Forum-Workshops, before closing the month with a return to Iloilo for another seniors talk AND solo parents forum. Before I knew it, I was going back to Geneva, Switzerland after getting accepted to a human rights and UN advocacy training programme. I finally got the chance to speak at a special panel-parallel activity on SOGI Those hectic 2 weeks was made worthwhile when I was able to see my nephew, Tudoy and his wife, Hani for a weekend site-seeing adventure. Unlike in March, I was finally able to go around and see Lake Geneva, the Swiss Alps, and do an Old Town Tour of Geneva’s ancient quarter. And even before I was over my jetlag, I was flying off to Tacloban and then to Bohol as soon as I arrived from Europe. The Solo Parents Forum-Workshops and Senior Citizens Regional Fora were still on-going after all. Ahh, no rest for those who toil. Yet about this time, I was beginning to feel a change in me. I wasn’t really too keen on going away on trips because I was missing Toni and Baby IV all the time. I promised myself I’ll bring them along if I can. The first week of October was again supposedly a rest period, with minimal participation in the annual Elderly Filipino Week celebrations. But I was “kidnapped” into attending a legislative advocacy workshop in Antipolo. Once again, I felt I was burning both ends of the candle, tiring myself out, when I could have spent the time better. As in Iloilo, Cagayan De Oro was a two-in-one official visit –with a regional forum for seniors and a forum-workshop on solo parents. It also gave me a chance to visit with old friends whom I promised to visit again come November. I skipped a river rafting adventure and settled for a simple spa massage in between my lectures. My body just couldn’t handle any more stress as it cried out its exhaustion. And while before I was always excited to go on trips, now I couldn’t wait to go home. I barely enjoyed that long Halloween weekend because I was sick, but I had to go off to Baguio for PDPB’s year-end assessment. In between that, I had to do one last Solo Parents Forum in San Fernando, La Union for Region 1. I managed to tag Toni along where she served as my “assistant”, operating my laptop for my powerpoint presentations. That was closely followed by a quick trip to Cagayan de Oro for a weekend forum on LGBT rights. Because of its proximity, I was able to visit one of my favourite islands – Camiguin. This was such a happy, relaxing time for me since I was with my GF, Toni and my good friends from Ladlad. As my Solo Parents duties came to a close, I took up my assigned areas for the Social Pension research project. I travelled to San Carlos City, Pangasinan where I went to conduct my first interviews with the social pension beneficiaries. I endured this because Toni came with me again, and she proved quite helpful with the interviews. So for my Loon, Bohol assignment, I dragged her along again. I noticed that by this time she’s already familiar with most of my talks, whether with senior citizens, solo parents or LGBT rights. Going on these trips with me exposed her to the work I do and helped her appreciate my work. By the time we went to Bacolod in December, I noticed the seniors actually prefer her and volunteer to be her interviewees. As the year slowly came to a close, I put myself on a timeline, and decided no more trips as the Christmas season approached. It was going to be purely family bonding and quality time. I still like going on my trips, but I find I have more fun if Toni tagged along with me. I see old places with new eyes and create memories with someone whose company I really enjoy. If she isn’t with me, I couldn’t wait to return home and be with her and baby. So now, I manage to keep my travels short, and insist that these trips are absolutely necessary before I embark on them. I also realized I have to rest and give my body a chance to recover. I am no spring chicken anymore, so I better slow down too.

For Ladlad

A few days ago someone tried to insult me by saying "Asa pa kayong pumasok ang Ladlad sa partylist...Wag na kayong mag-ambisyon..". Coming from a staff of another partylist whose own future looks very bleak, I simply took it with a grain of salt. At least I have faith in my own sector - the Filipino LGBT Community. I am not sure they still have the support of theirs. Watching them all these years, I learned a few valuable lessons as well. Firstly, mere membership or holding of an ID card doesnt mean you have their complete support...especially if it was forced down their throats for a fee. People will come to your side on their own, after being convinced of your sincerity to serve and the feasibility of your platform. It only happens when they know you are truly a member of your sector and are willing to work for the interests of everyone. Most of all, you must make them believe that you are not motivated by self-interest of ambition alone. So if you ever get lucky and managed to win a seat, never say "I don't owe you anything" knowing it's the national federation that got you the votes. For LGBTs like us, used to a hard life as we all are, we treasure a simple gesture of kindness, a welcoming smile, any sign of acceptance or approbation with no judgment whatsoever. I believe this attitude of humility and sense of gratitude is something our LADLAD nominees will bring with them when they get to Congress. I am reminded of one dedicated LADLAD coordinator in Region III, who during a typhoon rushed to save a LADLAD tarpaulin at the expense of his own safety in the rushing floodwaters. Finding out about his situation, Danton immediately sent some assistance to him. That is more than i can say for this partylist representative who didnt even personally visit the wake of a loyal member, especially since that member died while campaigning for him. I also remember how we all rallied to support our brothers and sisters in Baguio City when they were in the midst of the gay wedding controversy. I remember how we sent assistance to our Sendong-stricken brothers and sisters in Cagayan de Oro, in cash and in actual goods with the sense of urgency comparable only to DSWD. But be it narrow-minded councilors in Baguio or LGBT-friendly local legislators in Cebu and Davao, we send our LGBT voices over to them to express support and solidarity. And we are being HEARD, and being SEEN, all over the Philippines now. It is this national "fervor" we are now seeing in our Ladlad members and coordinators everywhere. Clearly, while I see their sector breaking up, other associations from other regions getting COMELEC accreditation to represent their sector, I see a consolidation of ours. Leaving behind varied political ideologies in the meantime, we have come together as one bright and colorful community under LADLAD. Yes, I dare to dream LADLAD will get a seat. Mabuhay ang LADLAD

Guimaras in July

And so it was,..an escape, a perfect get-away, a hideaway both for healing hearts, and making new memories A time to welcome the sunshine into your life again, the freedom in the rolling surf and sea breeze, the calmness of the waters, and the gentleness of the sunset. Gorge in the sweetness of the famed mangoes, savor its taste, its freshness the surprise each derived product brings, the prospects and possibilties of what else can be enjoyed. Guimaras is about taking chances, a leap of faith that begins first with a flight, then a seemingly short cruise and a cross-country trek that doesn't promise much until you come out on the other end of the island...and then, the rest of your Life begins..again

Of New Year Celebrations

Last night's celebration was special to me because it's the first New Year's Eve in four years that I wasn't spending alone (or with my dog) locked up in an airconditioned room. I had good food and good company in the person of my small family, living reminders of what I had to look forward to in the coming year. I know now that there would be no more New Year's Eves spent alone. I remember how New Year was celebrated in my household when I was young. Manong Snokum would have these little pull-string firecrackers he would attach to our screen doors. He would terrorize our maids by installing these just when the maids were busy going in and out of the house. And speaking of maids, we had innovative and enterprising kasambahays before. Long before there was a "sinturon-ni-hudas" or the so-called "sawa", Melda already devised a way of stringing up labintadors together and lighting them up for a machine gun-like effect come midnight. Oh when the Five-Stars became popular, she stringed them up too, and like bandoliers she'd have them across her chest ready for hanging on our clothesline. Just one light and we'd have a full five-minute, non-stop firecracking experience. Having a long driveway and big double gates also served a purpose - we could always hang our trompillos there and have a simultaneous show with the fountain cones. As a kid, we were limited to holding sparklers or lusis, but my cousins and I can always sneak a few watusis. You can scratch watusis across the ground with your foot, or scratch them on walls. We didnt know then that they were highly toxic and could poison you if you dont wash your hands. Soon, we graduated to lighting up Baby Rockets to zoom across the sky, and our measly lusis became full Roman Candles, shooting up sparks and exploding as well. Again, we didnt know how dangerous Roman Candles were until one New Year's Eve an accident happened. We had nailed all the trompillos by the gate, set up the fountains on the driveway, and hung our family version of the Super-Sawa on the clotheslines. we had our picnic table by the coverred garage, and on it laid out our various sparklers, Whistle Bombs, Baby Rockets and Roman Candles. Our assorted labintadors, Five Stars and Bawangs included, were in one big old Graham Crackers can. So we started out with everybody holding sparklers; kids with small lusis and the adults with Romand Candles. One aunt, Tita Vangie, got scared of all the explosions from the fireworks and kept backing up, not realizing her Roman Candle was sending sparks to the picnic table where the whole can of firecrackers were. Before we knew it, it was like World War III and we were all running for our lives. Most of us were able to run to the far end of the driveway, to the edge of our compound where the other apartment doors were. Unfortunately, some headed for the screen door of the main house. In their haste and in desperation, they couldn't get inside because they all piled up, one on top of the other, cringing for protection from the exploding fireworks. We couldn't see with all the smoke, but the last we heard was the poor Graham Crackers can clanking down. And ten minutes before midnight, we had already exhausted our firecrackers. Talk about being premature... The morning after was always one big mess. Pulbora-residue, ashes and sand were all around. Exploded wrappers were like confetti everywhere. But there is always an un-exploded firecracker in there somewhere. Some people make the mistake of thinking that these can be discarded the same way they do with dried leaves - by simply sweeping them away and burning them. My Dad had the misfortune of finding out for himself one New year's day when he took on clean-up duties. He simply swept them all up together with all the other garbage, plastics and celofane wrappers included. And so another accident was bound to happen...An unexploded firecracker lit up and exploded, sending trash flying everywhere. Plastic, being of light material, flew in the direction of my Dad and it stuck to his arm, burning him. And so he spent his birthday and the next few days nursing a bad wound. I sit here, watching my little girl play with her Xmas bounty of toys. I wonder what joys and surprises 2013 will bring her, just as each passing year gave me in my youth. I realize all the promise and potential this year can have...And so we begin, for this is the first day of the rest of our lives.

Che's Wedding Piece: A Tale of Two's

There are two more weddings in the family coming up in the next few weeks. And as always, it will be a time for relatives to show up and welcome the new members into the fold. Besides the two grooms, I suspect my own “instant” family would be scrutinized as well. My “new” two year old girl is currently the light of my life. Each morning she greets me with a thunderous (yes, she has a booming voice at her age) “hi!” and a tiring day at the office can always be wiped away with just a welcoming hug from her at the end of the day. I now realize, a kid in the house is always crazy, but pleasantly fun. It wasn’t too long ago when my Dad too enjoyed the pleasure of a child in the house long after all of us kids were already of school age. During a Holy Week vacation in Ilocos, we chanced upon Mother Sandra and asked her to join the household once again. I went biking to Zone 2 (pronounced as “Son-to” in Bantay) with my grandfather to find Mother Sandra and lo and behold, there she was with her own mini-me…a two-feet high miniature Sandra. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but the mother and daughter were having a tug-of-war scene appropriately near the family sow’s muddy pen. This prelude was evident of the strong-willed personalities of both mother and daughter that would characterize their relationship through the years. Ironically, this personality would serve Sheryl or “Cheche” as we fondly called her, quite well. This early independence allowed her to play alone, or with other children, even as Mother Sandra was busy with household chores and couldn’t watch over her. If she got into a fight with other kids, we would know, because she would come rushing home without a word. Yes, we never fought any of her fights for her because she could certainly take care of herself even at 2 or 3 years old. We would only find out the next day how bad it was when an angry aunt would come over to our house complaining that Che made a much older 7- year old cousin cry the previous day. Yes, she would occasionally get herself in trouble but she always knew how to get out of them. Once, she broke my Dad’s ashtray in his office. Mother Sandra distinctly heard a crash and something breaking, but when she got to my Dad’s office, there was nothing on the floor…just Che standing there suspiciously. When asked what happened, little Cheche refused to admit to anything. Mother Sandra asked her where the broken pieces were and Che’s classic reply was, “Problema ko na yun..” At home, the closest to her age was Gayle who was at least 6 years older. You would think Gayle would be the bad influence on her, but no…they were “partners-in-crime”. They both had a penchant for those dried pusit in small packs, grilled streetfood like “isaw” and “adidas”, and that iced delicacy, “iskrambol” although they were prohibited from eating those things. So they would sneak out of our side gate instead of the front where Mother Sandra could catch them. They would hug the fence-wall, sliding stealthily like spies and run to the neighbourhood sari-sari store to buy their favourite snacks. Together they stand, and together they fall so to speak…and so these two finally ended their “reign of terror” when they both fell victim to due “consequences” of eating dirty streetfood. Mr. Combantrin was the only solution and it had Cheche spouting her undying love for her mother in the toilet because she thought she was at the point of death. As a student, Che was also unusual. She never had to be coaxed into going to school everyday, or doing her homework. She would display that same independence unless she needed help with a drawing (she would come to me) or with her math (she would go to Giselle). With Mother already in Rome, Mama was her official guardian and Che never gave her reason to go to Stella Maris to have a special meeting with the principal or the guidance counsellor. Even in high school, she was never the problematic teen. Once Mama was required to attend a school event and she nonchantly went thinking it was like any other activity. She got the surprise of her life when during a song number there was a soloist, and it was Che! Gayle was the only one with the courage to try out for the Glee Club before, so like any other little sister, Che followed suit. But of course, she was always capable of going beyond whatever we accomplished like any other younger sibling. And so it was, when it was time for her to apply for university. The family’s deepest frustration of not having a dentist in the clan was thrust upon her even as she hoped to follow our footsteps in going to UP. But it was not in her cards to become one of our sorority sisters, because her destiny lay in UE, a well-known school for dentistry. There, she applied herself to her studies the same way she always did. Experiencing failing marks for the first time, she did what was necessary and took the make-up summer classes. Maybe she always thought of Mother Sandra in Rome, working very hard for her education that kept her on the right path. She always put her studies as her priority even at the most unusual times. Once, there was a big fire that engulfed the squatters area near our house. The flames got so big, our home was also at risk of being burned down as well. We had to evacuate like the rest of the people, moving the cars, taking our valuables with us. But for Cheche at that time, her books and laboratory manuals were her “valuables”. And in the heat of the moment, things got dropped on the ground as we all rushed out and scrambled for safety. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the fire did not reach our house. When we were asked if there were any losses or damage to property, Che was hilariously the only victim because her books fell in the water from the firemen’s hoses. By the time Che asked to live away from home, we were confident enough she could be left alone as an adult already. She would come by for her clothes, stay the weekend but always went back to her dorm in time for her classes. When she was reviewing for her dentistry board exams, we hardly worried about her and only occasionally asked if she had done the rounds of the classic pilgrimage sites like Our Lady of Manaoag, St. Jude, Sta. Clara and Baclaran. She never lost confidence and probably never even considered failing. And even if she did, she simply shrugged her shoulders and promised herself she’d try again. That was how strong and resilient she could be. By the time she was a bonafide dentist, employed at an established dental clinic in Binondo, she never stopped being hardworking. She put up her own dental clinic with a few of her old classmates and even started various endeavours like an RTW and a food cart business. One thing Che was never lacking is courage and a risk-taking demeanour that always allows her to land on her feet. For Che, there are no mistakes or failures because she carefully assesses her risk exposure and if there are any losses on her part, she would make sure she didn’t do too badly. I believe Che is the same with her lovelife. She always knew what she wanted and that was non-negotiable. The real challenge was finding a guy who would be confident enough to handle her strong-will and independence. Truly lucky is the man who would manage to “tame” her because she could be a real “partner for life”, a source of strength, a sanctuary from all of Life’s hustle and bustle. She can a true lover and carer – someone who can feed you the tastiest dishes and yet scold you for getting sick and not taking better care of yourself. Yes, Cheche can be a real challenge, but I assure you she would be really worth it. So good luck to you Elmer and may your years together be truly blessed.