What Lengths

To what lengths would you be willing to sacrifice your true happiness for?
When each day is pure agony already;
You force yourself to lie beside her at night,
To face her at the dinner table as you eat your meals,
To speak to her when her voice is a mere echo of words,
After you have tuned out from her absurd monologues hours ago.

She finally notices your blank eyes, the smileless lips,
the wan look - misery clearly etched on your face;
Yet she has the gall to ask if you still loved her.
She suddenly raises your common concerns:
the trip, the dog, the bills –
as if these things still matter
like your plans and your dreams.

You have managed to extend your patience to unimaginable lengths
But the effort is not because you really aim to please her
With each tantrum, you’ve learned to detach yourself
With every outburst, you’ve learned not to care
Because with each hurtful word she blurts out
You love her a little less …
Gpl 4/10/11

Stuck

You seem stuck in this place
While everyone else’s lives go on
What is there to hold on to anyway?
Expectations and promises,
The recognition, the credit
The long-awaited promotion?
But what is it that you are really waiting for?
A life waiting to be lived?

GPL 4/10/11

Letter to a Graduate (for my nephews and niece)

This summer, our family boasts of three new graduates covering the primary, secondary, and tertiary levels. My siblings, regular, hardworking people, are very proud indeed. Like all parents, the tradition of sending your kids to school to ensure them a bright future is still considered one of life’s greatest accomplishments. And for all of us who have labored in school, graduation is more than just a culmination of all your hard work, it is a great milestone in life.
For my nephew graduating from elementary, I always told you that you should learn all the basics in science, math, history and languages already, because these details won’t change and will keep haunting you until college. Since there’s no escaping it, better learn them all now. Who knows, these information may prove useful later on. One thing for sure, sometimes a little knowledge is perfect for impressing girls.
And for having “survived” elementary when most kids are most cruel, congratulations for rising above the bullying of both teachers and classmates. At this point, you must have realized your own innate worth and goodness. Whatever your peers called you or how your teachers labelled you, the only opinion about yourself that really matters is yours. So never lose faith in yourself.
An important lesson you may have learned from all the bullying is that now you know how it feels, and the memory of that pain and torment will remind you later on in life that it’s never nice to oppress or pick on the down-trodden. The experience may have taught you about your humanity, so I never begrudged you that one time you got yourself into a fight because you defended yourself. May you show the same zeal and righteousness as you fight for the rights of others when you get older.
To my nephew graduating high school, who was so pressured about getting into the “right” university. Know that elder siblings’ “successes” will always torment you, especially if they set such high standards. Your Dad did that to all of us six other children who followed. Only four of us managed to get into the State University as well, but no one was able to match his NSDB (now known as NSTA) scholarship. Nevertheless, the lesson is this – always be your own person. Soon you will realize that you shall follow your own Path, and your accomplishments and your failures will be your own. Things always turn out as they should in the end, and your life is what you make of it.
And to my niece in college who is so torn about choosing the best job offer. Money is always good since a fair compensation is a measure of the hard work required of you. But be reminded that sometimes wealth is not the answer to everything. Many successful people measured their accomplishments by how much they earned; yet in the end, they still searched for that sense of fulfilment. So consider what would really make you happy too, because a meaningful job that contributes to society is never a bad deal. Always think of a job as more than just a source of income, and you will be on the right track.
To a graduate, graduation is about moving on to the next stage in your life. Relish this moment, take time to look back at what you have accomplished. It will to give you the courage to face what comes next. This is a rite of passage, and you have proven yourself worthy.

Holy Week Escapes (or Rituals while Vacationing)

With Holy Week coming up, there is a mad rush to book accommodations and tickets for places far away from Manila. Since most people head off for beaches, most resorts at the popular coastlines or island paradise are already fully booked.
On the other hand, most Filipinos’ Catholic guilt kick in about this time too, and they opt for places which also provide some religious significance. While one’s own provincial hometown is always a safe choice, most vacation spots fortunately have enough churches to visit come Good Friday.
The Ilocos region has the best churches to do Visita Iglesia. Besides the proximity of the churches to each other that will easily allow you to comply with the standard 7-church visit, the beautiful Augustinian designs are always something to marvel at. The common bell tower-beside-the-main- church design, built with sand, coral and limestone mixed with eggs and molasses make for lasting structures that survived various earthquakes and human conflicts. Grand altars within recessed enclaves housing statuettes of known patron saints, twin pulpits hung on major pillars that also serve as strong foundations holding up the arching ceiling, an occasional ancient confessional or organ are among the things to watch out for in this walking lesson in Philippine history.
In the South, I believe Iloilo, especially Miag-ao, would be Ilocos’ closest rival in terms of grand churches. And also Bohol, even for the small island that it is, can also compete with Vigan and Laoag for the sheer number of churches it has. Besides the popular Baclayon and Loboc Churches, in and around Panglao island as well as the drive to Chocolate Hills will allow you to visit a few more churches.
The ritual of doing the Stations of the Cross is also a classic practice during Holy Week. And while all Catholic churches are required to have the full 14-scene Passion of Christ on their walls either by paintings or sculptures, there is nothing like life-size statues to pray to. In Cagayan Valley, the town of Iguig boasts of its bigger-than-life figures depicting Christ’s passion. Installed over a vast expanse of rolling hills, the whole scenery also has a wonderful view of one of Cagayan Valley’s largest rivers. Nearby, another relic of our colonial past, the remnants of the Church of St. James proudly stands. Together with the ruins of its ampitheater, it has survived earthquakes and fires to still be an operational parish till now.
Another must-see Stations of the Cross is the one on Camiguin Island. For this little island of numerous active volcanoes, their 14 scenes-of-the-Passion are actually built on a mountain (or a dormant volcano, I am told). The initial climb to the first few stations still have concrete steps or ramps and are posted quite close together. After some time, the scenes become farther apart and the walkway turns into a dirt road. The climb alone is enough to compose one’s penance for an entire Lenten season. But the view of the sea from this elevated portion of the island is a gift that more than compensates one’s sacrifice. Soon, the climb becomes steep as well, and without proper footwear, you can seriously slip on the gravel. For the faint of heart, the height at this point is quite nerve-wracking as the path also narrows and turns into sharp corners with scary drop-offs into ravines. Nevertheless, the sight is spectacular.
As I believe, being on vacation at some exotic tourist spot is not an excuse to miss doing one’s Lenten obligations. So this Holy Week, pick a good venue for your annual spiritual retreat as well.

Up North: The Wonder of Winaca-Tublay

As my friends have often said, there is more to Benguet than Baguio City. Some of them have gone up to La Trinidad and Sagada to enjoy the “dislocation” from urban life. And while Baguio will always hold a special place in my heart, I believed it was time to make new memories as well. So when the invitation to see Tublay came, I jumped at the chance; even if it’s only for a day.
My latest senior citizens talk was for the Federation of Senior Citizens Associations of the Philippines (FSCAP) representatives of the Cordillera region. Our venue was to be the Winaca Eco-Cultural Village, a new tourist attraction that is still in its development stage. Arriving at the site on the very night of the “Super Moon”, the rough roads and seeming isolated destination made for a perfect horror movie scene. It wasn’t until the next morning that we experienced its grandeur.
Our lodgings was a quaint, log cabin-style structure. Intended to house numerous guests, the three rooms were for sharing of three to four people with built-in double-deck beds. There were two baths and three toilets, and a living area. There was a functional fireplace and the wooden furniture were the classic, low seats of the region. I appreciated this little taste of Cordillera culture.
Waking up to a chilly dawn, I joined the seniors in their early morning trek. I marvelled, of course, at the view. Here the mountains are not as bare or heavily populated as in Baguio. Pine trees still abound and the village itself was purposely planted with ornamentals like anthuriums and orchids. As an eco-village, vegetables like tomatoes, lettuce, cabbage and carrots are also grown here, albeit organically. They also promote waste segregation and refuse is strictly identified as bio-degradable and non-biodegradable.
The mealtime fares were satisfying enough, but I heard Winaca is known for its signature Carrot Cakes. So besides the sweet, native strawberries from La Trinidad which I feasted on during this summer’s Strawberry Festival, I gorged on carrot cake as well.
There is a provision for an outdoor campfire for guests. Besides the hiking trail, other amenities to be enjoyed include wall-climbing facilities, a mudslide, a mini-obstacle course for teambuilding activities, fishing and horseback riding.
As a cultural attraction, life-size examples of native houses in the Cordillera are displayed. There’s the elevated huts-on-stilts of the Ifugaos, the slightly lower Bakun-Benguet huts, and the roof-dominated stonehouse of Sagada-Bontoc tribes.
While I have always been partial to nature-tripping, visiting new places always gave me the opportunity to experience nature in a different way. Up North, besides the cool weather it is known for, there is a rich indigenous peoples’ heritage that must be appreciated and preserved for all its historical and cultural value.
I found myself promising to return to this simple, yet almost “sacred” place.

Go West: The Treasures and Pleasures of Bolinao

It is always the beach that one runs to when one thinks about getting relaxed and refreshed. After a busy month, I felt so drained I needed to get away before I could get back to work again. Far-off Pangasinan was a perfect place, but I wasn’t prepared for how far off Bolinao was.
A drive to Pangasinan usually takes five hours, but it all depends on which route you take and what town you are heading for. The western municipalities of the province are known for Dagupan’s bangus fishponds and the seafood that abound in the Lingayen Gulf. It is also known for its beautiful beaches that stretch from San Fabian near Manaoag to Labrador and Bolinao.
Arriving at Puerto del Sol in Brgy. Ilog-Malino, the sight alone made the long trip worth it. The wide expanse of the beach revealed an open sea made safe only by a breakwater. Accompanied by a glaring sun, the sea breeze brought with it clean, fresh air in spite of the saltiness. Glancing at the white sand, I saw assorted shells and corals mingling with live seaweed that had floated unto the shore. There was even a seabird foraging along the mocca-colored sandbar exposed by the mid-day low tide. Little holes that punctured the sand signalled crabs were there. At this end of the Philippines, the sea is still brimming with life. Maybe that’s why there is a UP Marine Sanctuary nearby.
We enjoyed a sumptuous late lunch at La Playa, the veranda-like restaurant which looked out into the sea. This is where meals were usually served. But on extremely windy days, guests may eat in the indoor restaurant which was decorated with traditional Ilocano furniture. Its walls were heavily painted in yellow and the linings were mahogany brown. Post-modern paintings played harmoniously in the room that exuded a grand, yet old and musty aura. An old piano sat in a corner; its ivory was already turning yellow and some keys no longer played. Heavy wooden cabinets, tables and chairs adorned the rest of the space.
A pond outside not only had some fish, but actual red-eared turtles that regularly sunbathed on the rocks. That would certainly keep the kids entertained while they waited for their food. There is also a playground nearby that had swings, a slide, monkey bars and see-saws. A little way off near the gardens, there is another pond over which a small wooden bridge was built. Kids would love to play on that except that it’s now overgrown with vines and a suspicious black spider has a giant cobweb on it.
The gardens are quite something too. It can actually give Sonya’s Garden and the La Mesa Ecopark a run for their money in terms of plants and flowers. Ornamentals are planted all over – giant gumemelas in red, yellow, and peach, santan, as well as white and yellow oleanders. Just don't be surprised with the statuaries honoring the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Francis here, because the owners are probably devout Catholics.
As we were being shown to our deluxe lodgings in the Mansion Villas, I noticed that the walkway had a trellis covered with flowering bougainevillas. Besides keeping out the sun, these white and fuschia-colored flowers would greet your mornings as you look out from your room. With pipe-in music being played all around the resort, the atmosphere was a complete spa-like ambience.
In the Indonesian-inspired huts around the pool area, you can have your full-body massages, and manicures-pedicures. Lounging in the jacuzzi one morning, I looked up to see native swallows nesting in the cogon-thatched roof. Talk about communing with nature! As for other resort facilities, there is also a Game Room where adults can play billiards, pool, table tennis and darts. I was told videoke is also available and can be arranged by the resort.
Sunrise comes late to this westernmost part of Luzon and on my first morning there, I woke up at dawn to walk the beach. As I had hoped, the sea left many gifts by the shore. Besides seashells and corals, I even came across a live sea urchin before it was swept away by the waves. It was a good thing because people would soon come out to swim and woe to him/her who steps on the spines of that poor sea urchin.
For three days and two nights, I had my fill of swimming in the sea and the pool. So on the second morning of my stay, I decided to do as kids did and tried building a sandcastle. The soft, wet sand was perfect. But the tide was coming in and I had to work fast. I realized that what made sandcastle-building efficient during my youth was because I had my siblings with me. With no sisters around to get seawater to regularly douse my sandy fortress or to pick the best corals and shells to reinforce my grainy towers, my work of art was constantly in danger of crumbling. I finished it in time before the waves filled-in my miniature moat. Despite its rundown appearance, some guests liked it and even took photos of it to the delight of the resort personnel.
While my tired body enjoyed the adult pleasures of a massage, the jacuzzi, airconditioning and cable TV, the child in me was awakened by the simple joys of swimming, beachcombing, and even sandcastle building.
Since the resort staff were also locals, they boasted of other attractions in this distant gem of place. Besides their white sand beaches that are powdery-soft, unpolluted and still teeming with marine life, they have coral mountains that house beautiful caves. At the popular Enchanted Cave (site of Marian Rivera’s “Dyesebel”), fossilized coral line the hillside before revealing a magical underground cave that reminded me of Bohol. Before descending the steep stairs, we chance upon the halves of giant clams said to be millions of years old. These were clear evidence that many parts of the Philippines were really underwater many eons ago. Besides Enchanted Cave, there is also the Wonderful Cave and Cindy’s Cave which similarly had cool, freshwater to swim in.
On the way to see the famous Bolinao Lighthouse, we passed by Brgy. Patar’s rolling sand dunes and white sand beaches as magnificent as Boracay. With no protective breakwaters, and rock formations reminiscent of Currimao, Ilocos Norte rising like islets in the sea, these beaches had powerful waves crashing unto them. I was willing to bet the area also had some pretty strong undertows on bad days.
In Bolinao town proper, there’s the St. James the Great church. Reminiscent of our colonial past, it was built in 1607 and is considered one of the oldest churches in the Philippines. Made from the classic materials of eggyolk and molasses mixed with sand and coral stone, it must have survived numerous earthquakes in the past. There is likewise the Bolinao Museum which proudly displays geological and biological finds, as well as historical and archeological artifacts from a 14th century burial site, including some Chinese coins and pottery wares.
All in all, there is a lot to see and enjoy in Bolinao that would make the long drive worthwhile.

Journey

we knew where we wanted to go

shared that singular desire

to discover a place

we both knew existed

but was always beyond our grasp

we committed ourselves to the journey

braced ourselves for the long, bumpy road

prepared to get lost once in a while

and hoped to get back on track easily

we were fools, of course

reaching our destination

we made the most of our stay

enjoying every moment

yet knowing deep inside

it may not last forever after all

I realize I am

where I am suppose to be

I look back at all that has come to pass

my hardship, my pains

and this is what I got in return

I look at you beside me

seemingly content at what we have for now

it all becomes clear to me

we are here for a reason

a lesson to be learned for each other

-GPL 4/4/11

Negros

It began with Negros

When I managed to obtain its area code

If only to hear your voice over the miles

Simply to let you know

I was dying in Manila

Because you were not near.



There was promise in Negros

When my persistent longing for you

Finally warranted an invitation

To visit your hometown

To meet your family

To be known as your Other Half.



There was a journey in Negros

One that meant more than that

cross-country trip over sugar cane fields

traversing prawn ponds and black pepper farms

or a whole coastline of fishing villages;

It was embarking on a life together

against all odds… or family wishes



But the end started in Negros

When a planned trip was no longer welcome

When travelling became a tedious task

Or was it just my company that made it unpleasant

The unbearable prospect of being burdened

With my constant presence

was a sad little secret you kept

yet never had the heart to tell me



Still I shall always remember Negros

For what it gave me

And what it took away

It’s white sandy beaches

and cool, green forests

Will forever be a soft memory in my mind

But a gentle aching in my heart.



GPL 3/20/2011

En Route: Getting Lost and Getting There

The long drive itself was bound to clear my mind already. A good four to five hours on the road, looking out the window and enjoying the changing scenery, usually has a “cleansing” effect. On the way, we discovered new routes that actually cut your travel time in half. Here’s a tip for those driving up north for the Holy Week, Quezon City residents have the option of using the Mindanao Avenue exit to the NLEX. It spares you the agony of sitting through the traffic of SM North-Munoz until Balintawak. Located at the Quirino Avenue-Novaliches junction, the ramp automatically takes you to MacArthur Highway in Valenzuela, Bulacan. That’s around 30-40 minutes off your drive time.

After enduring the stench of the piggeries of Bulacan and Pampanga, you have the option of using the SCTEX at Dau. Again, this road will reduce your 3 hour drive to a mere hour and a half. You don’t have to deal with the heavy traffic from the heavily-populated towns of Mabalacat, Bamban, Capas and Tarlac City where tricycles on the highway have the “King-of-the-Road” attitudes.

SCTEX cuts across Pampanga and Tarlac lands, specifically the great Hacienda Luisita. The long stretches of asphalt and concrete are a stark contrast to the endless tracks of sugarcane fields and other plantation crops. You might also enjoy a closer look at Mt. Arayat as it rises against clear blue skies. Occasionally, you might even see a few birds from the nearby Candaba swamps.

In Tarlac City, there is a rotonda area which directs you to either take the road going to Cabanatuan, Nueva Ecija, the usual route towards Baguio (which is the commonly used track) or the city proper of Tarlac which has a shortcut to the lesser known towns of Pangasinan. For those heading for the Hundred Islands of Alaminos or the beaches of Labrador and Bolinao, the latter is the perfect road to take. It just goes straight up, with minimal vehicles or traffic on the road. It allows you to avoid the tricycles and heavy traffic from Gerona until Urdaneta, as well as the circuitous backroads of Sta.Barbara and Lingayen.

On the other hand, should you happen to get lost (like we did) and reach Urdaneta inadvertently, you can do a sidetrip to Manaoag and do a quick visit to the Blessed Virgin of Manaoag, enjoy the old churches in Lingayen, or catch a quick seafood lunch from the freshest catch of Dagupan. So here’s another tip for the Holy Week, while you do your Visita Iglesia at the numerous old churches of Pangasinan, you can also gorge yourself on your favourite Bangus, prawns or squid.

At Sual and Labrador, the changing panorama might confuse you. One moment, you see the perfect coastline, the blue sea and rushing waves on the beach, and then suddenly, you are in the rolling hills of Mabini and Burgos. The twisting roads can give Naguilian Road a run for its money in terms of the breath-taking views – the distant coastline and the vast Pangasinan plains. Soon the hills’ red earth and white sand beaches give way to a rocky, gray landscape. These coral mountains characterize the westernmost towns surrounding the Lingayen Gulf. It all ends at Bolinao which boasts of freshwater caves carved into coral mountains and powdery-soft white sand beaches. Once more, the stark contrasts of natural formations make for an interesting site-seeing trip.

As with Life, there is no such thing as getting completely lost; you just get detoured once in a while. You still get to where you want to go, and end up where you’re suppose to be.

The Whirlwind that was March

The month of March passed me by like raging winds of a hurricane. I was caught up in a series of travels and speaking engagements for consecutive weeks, it was a miracle my body and my mind held up for as long as they can. I conditioned myself for the long drives by properly scheduling night trips and enough rest days. But preparing my powerpoint presentations was the least of my worries; it was switching my brain to talk about women’s welfare and legislation one minute, then elderly benefits and privileges the next, plus LGBT rights and issues every so often.

My first week was spent in Tagaytay where I was suppose to attend a training on policy research. While my division organized the activity, it was the other unit that was really in-charge and I was just a participant. However, with the bosses off running around somewhere too, I was forced to do the closing remarks and hand out the certificates as well. By the second week, I gave an orientation for the seniors of NCR, conducted my last MANCOM meeting, and spoke at a campus forum on LGBT rights. My third week was as equally hectic, starting off with a lecture on women-friendly laws for another university, a bigtime workshop-forum on social pension at Manila Hotel, plus a special briefing for the Commission of Human Rights officials on LGBT concerns. Even my weekends were not spared - I spent them for meetings, family visits, and travel time. By March’s fourth week, I gave another senior’s talk and more meetings.

By the fifth week, I was totally exhausted and I was yearning for a grand vacation I felt I truly deserved. Of course, I was thinking of doing some work too – including some feedback reports, project proposals, and an entry for a writing contest. But I was taking my laptop for another reason as well; the necessary internet connection was to check on my urgent emails and other communications.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the place we went to was really a complete “get-away from the hustle and bustle of the city”. Cellphone signals were difficult and that included internet connections. So your only option was to access your emails at the resort’s business center. Even the cable TV channels were limited to just three movie channels; truly bad news for cartoon network lovers. But it will give one a chance to really take advantage of the so-called peace and quiet. Certainly no “information overload” from cable, from the internet, or from cellphone messages.

For the first time in weeks, my mind was rested. I could actually hear myself think, or rather…NOT think. I allowed myself to sleep deeply, not worrying about alarms going off. And since my body clock still automatically wakes up at 5AM, I just took midday catnaps while watching TV.

Yet the biggest change I noticed was that I didn’t feel like eating much. Don’t get me wrong; the resort’s restaurant was great. Besides the fact that the menu offerings were varied and reasonably priced, the servings were big portions and quite tasty. My appetite was normal, but without the stress and tension, there were no cravings or binge eating too.

By the last day of March, I was ready to get back to the reality of work and everyday living. I was refreshed and sufficiently recharged. But by April 1st, I was just a fool again…

Baguio Circa 2011

For my eldest sister’s annual Manila visit this March, she brought along her daughter, Katkat. As a medical student, this was Katkat’s last chance to have a really long vacation. And since I mentioned I would be going up to Baguio for the week, they decided to come along especially since my niece hasn’t been to the North much.

I’ve been to Baguio many times over since those summer vacations of yore. Mostly the visits are for official work and advocacy, and I had managed an easy mix of business with pleasure. I also had friends over there with whom I meet up regularly, and sometimes, someone just manages to tag along for the occasion. Hence, I had seen Baguio’s slow transition from the cool get-away place to the hustling and bustling metropolis it is now.

Ate Marichu’s last Baguio visit, on the other hand, was during her own honeymoon in the 1980s; back when Pines Hotel still stood and the hottest disco was at Hyatt Hotel. But both are gone now - one lost to a big fire and the other to a devastating earthquake.

When we were kids, our Dad would always bring us to Baguio at the end of each schoolyear. Back then, even at high noon, you can see your breath as you exhale. Afternoon showers automatically bring thick fog that made travelling the roads dangerous because of diminished visibility. Nowadays, the coolness is manageable with appropriate thermal wear from the Ukay-ukays.

Going up to Baguio via the alternate route from Pangasinan-La Union, she asked why we no longer passed the La Union coastline where beaches abound. I told her there have been various roads developed aside from Kennon, Naguilian, and Marcos Highway. In fact, I believe there are two other shortcuts now coming from Abra and Nueva Vizcaya. She also wondered if we would see any waterfalls along this road, but I said I doubted it. The numerous waterfalls along Kennon and Naguilian have already disappeared with the continuous mining activities by the big corporations. And while the giant, sculpted Lion on Kennon Road still remains, the old Marcos bust has long been destroyed…first by pro-Cory sympathizers and finally, by NPA rebels supportive on indigenous peoples rights.

Arriving in the city proper, she immediately commented at the number of people and vehicles on the road. Indeed, Baguio appears to be overpopulated during the day and causing several traffic jams in some areas. It is said they number several hundred thousands here already, lowering slightly at night as some people go back down to their homes in La Union or Pangasinan after a day’s work. Ate Marie marvelled at Baguio’s own flyover in the downtown area, but the marketplace on Abanao St. beside Burnham Park is still as congested as she remembered. I noted that the lack of jaywalkers on the streets below was because of the adjoining walkways or overpass built to connect business establishments. The city government was also strict about its routes, seriously implementing one-ways and rotondas that makes for a tedious travel on vehicles rather than simply walking up to your destination.

For lunch, I took them to the ever popular Café by the Ruins near the city hall, but besides having to wait in line, Katkat was unimpressed with the menu offerings at the prices they charge. Ate Marie remembered Sizzling Plate and insisted we try that instead. Daddy’s clients always took us there and the restaurant now had other branches. Funny that upon getting there, we opted for pork viands and not the steaks Sizzling Plate is known for. Ate Marie inquired about the old Slaughterhouse near Daddy’s quarters at Times Transit along Magsaysay. I told her it is still there and locals still strongly recommend visiting the place for the best papaitan and other chevon or goat’s meat dishes. We both wondered whether they still serve asocena even with the Animal Welfare Act having been passed into law.

The great earthquake in the early 1990s destroyed many landmark establishments, including the Nevada Hotel and a commercial area known as Nevada Square now stands where it once was. Teachers Camp still existed, but I am not sure if Inn Roccio was still around. On the way to PMA Fort del Pilar, we passed by Loakan Road and we spoke about the White Lady. Our taxi driver showed us the area which had the old cemetery and could be very dark and eerie especially on foggy days. It now had streetlighting so it’s not so scary anymore except for the vehicular accidents that still keep happening due to the sharp curves and the mist that cause low visibility. As we were leaving PMA, we heard another tourist group speak about going to the Diplomat Hotel, an old abandoned and condemned building with lots of ghost stories. I guess the White Lady of Loakan was indeed passe’.

After the token foto-op w/ Katkat and Ate Marie at PMA, we headed for Camp John Hay. Once an exclusive facility for American servicemen and their families, it soon opened to the rich and the famous for golf. Now, anyone can just go in for a look-see, as call centers and high-end hotels occupy its prime lands. The miniature golf is still open, as well as the restaurant that serves the best American-sized cheeseburgers, and the little cemetery of “negativity” which had cartoon characters on headstones.

Ate Marie was bent on showing Katkat our usual haunts, so we headed for the Mansion and Wright Park since we saw Burnham Park already after lunch. As with Burnham, which had boat rides and bikes for rent, she just wanted to see where we used to ride ponies and horses of our youth. We got quite nostalgic, but Katkat was unimpressed. After having been informed that Mines View Park had no more “view” to speak of, and is now cramped with commercial business establishments, we decided to skip it and head instead for the Botanical Gardens. Previously known as Imelda Park, it boasted of an assortment of ornamental plants and flowers, so colourful you’d think you’re in some fantasy land. But upon entering, Ate Marie was disappointed. The gardens were no longer as carefully cultivated as we remembered. Indigenous folk in their native costumes now charge for every photograph with them as numerous stalls inside sell wares tourists would naturally fall for as souvenirs.

As we headed back to the DSWD cottage, we passed by SM Baguio. Proudly sitting on a hill, it was likewise strategically located just a few steps from Session Road. That main street seems to be the only familiar place to Ate Marie. But with even our DSWD newly-renovated cottage, the face of Baguio still keeps changing indeed.

HANDS

In this cool and darkened room

the world outside falls away;

I never see your face

as you come up behind me…

Suddenly you claim my body as yours;

your hands mapping out my entire being,

tracing scars of deeply imbedded wounds,

careful with piercings that bore holes inside my soul.

I flinch at each invasion of your fingers,

deftly putting pressure at vital spots,

easing out the tension from my lower back;

up and down you slide, again and again…

Then you stretch out across my own length,

using every part of you against my resistance;

the bed creaks at both our weights

and I expel a moan or a groan on occasion.

You aim to release long-bottled up emotions

now clogging up my every pore,

as if each stroke can erase every crease on my forehead,

as if every caress can wipe out each disturbing memory.

After the token hour, the deed is done,

I got what I paid for, so I turn to leave

I vow never to return to this place

…until the next moment of need.


- GPL 3/12/2011

Going Green

My crop protection professor used to say there are no such things as “weeds”. No matter how bothersome or undesirable a plant looks or smells, once it has a purpose or use, it is no longer a weed that needs to be exterminated. In fact, for Ilocanos some weeds are actually considered “vegetables” because they were proven to be edible and perfect ingredients for some bagoong-based viands.

When I was an undergrad in UP Los Banos, I always had a preference for my animal science courses. Since I was an Agribusiness Management major, I had no choice but to get an equal amount of crop science subjects. After the basic botany class, I took the required crop science 1A and 1B which taught me the basic stages of cultivation and modes of propagation. I had to learn how to plow my assigned plots, plant my seedlings, as well as water and fertilize them. I have to admit, I didn’t like going down into the rice paddies. I sank deep into the mud, sinking until my knees and was unable to move. It was like quicksand!

Plantation crops were different though; whether they were fruit crops or vegetables. I enjoyed watching them grow and bear fruit, and come harvest time, I can actually eat my organically-grown crops. It took me years to realize that I actually have a “green thumb” when I grew my own vegetable garden at our townhouse in Tandang Sora. The small parcel of land in our frontage was maximized by pots filled with basil, cherry tomatoes, chilli peppers, camote tops, interspersed with American roses and some succulents like aloe vera and cacti.

For city-dwellers who want to “go green”, this system goes well with recycling. You can actually grow your own plants from seeds you can dry out from kitchen scraps. Take note of this every time you cut some tomatoes, chilli or bell peppers, and calamansi - set aside their seeds before you start cooking the fleshy parts.

While I wasn’t as well-versed in hardwood growth as forestry majors were, I was familiar enough with some fruit-bearing trees which served multiple purposes in farms – whether as property markers, windbreakers, or to prevent erosion of steep, mountainous terrains. Nowadays, during my morning walks at Ecopark, I recognize some coconut, mango, santol, kaimito, langka and pomelo trees. With summer coming in a few more weeks, I see these plants slowly growing their fruits.

Again, here is where I appreciate recycling – organic parts like peels and rinds can go to the composting pit to serve as natural fertilizers as some future time, while the remains of eaten fruits are seeds which can be re-planted. This reinforces the idea that some things are not really trash or garbage because they still have uses.

As such, my morning walks are everyday reminders of these things. I have learned to value nature again, and to have a newfound respect for living things.

Our Work Doesn't End

We were not kidding when we said we “get it from all sides”. Some people might say it’s that “victim complex” rising up again; but we as LGBTs know those “horror stories” are real because we “live” it everyday of our lives. Some of us may be “lucky” enough to simply be ignored by our families, laughed at behind our backs by our peers, but some of us can be subjected to the most violent treatment b y our own parents, deprived of our rights and humiliated in public, or even killed because of our sexual orientation or gender identity.

It’s one thing that people’s behaviour around LGBTs is dictated by generation upon generation of homophobia and prejudice. But it’s another thing when in this age of reason and enlightenment, some people still choose to perpetuate this injustice against sexual minorities.

Thus, I call to task people who have been given the power and authority to influence other people - people in the media and in the educational system.

When LADLAD sought to participate in the elections through the Party List system, it was refused accreditation by the COMELEC with sweeping statements labelling LGBTs as “immoral” and a “threat to the youth”. Now with university professors bribing students with extra credit just to oppose a ground-breaking piece of legislation that would mean better health and well-being for millions of poor families, and imposing a personal religious beliefs on students in a non-sectarian university, I wonder who is the real threat to our Filipino youth. I can understand the oldest, pontifical, etc.etc. university abiding by its denomination’s hierarchy and compelling its poor students to submit to the dictates of Catholic dogma. But I find it hard to believe that a public school, a State university at that, now allows teachers to set classroom rules by their Christian faith, tossing aside the basic principles of freedom of expression, self-determinism, and respect for human dignity which defined the halls of this great university.

While print media remains to be the Thinking Man’s material, television has gained ground more than we can imagine. While graphic visuals is its true power, its television’s ability to capture and hold the public’s attention is its controlling factor. Hence, the mere number of individuals it can reach is the real magnitude of its influence. So, when a show allows its personalities to lambast another pubic figure for his sexual orientation or gender identity, what message are the producers trying to convey? They may only care about getting the highest ratings for the controversy it generates, but I must ask - where is their sense of responsibility?

At the height of the Vice Ganda fiasco at a leading TV station, the general public chose sides and happily joined in the word-war. In the heated exchanges that followed, the marginalized sector Vice Ganda represented was dragged through the mire. Yet, that network could have done better and apologized to their viewers for the circus they created. Personally, all I can say is that guy Tado truly deserves his name.

Today, a morning show suddenly decided to do a feature on LGBT issues, particularly about coming out and being a “successful” LGBT. I reluctantly did an interview with them since I didn’t like the context of their topic. The premise of experiencing those “horror stories” and managing to survive it all was clearly misplaced. I even explained during my interview that the idea of success is relative, and maybe they just want to show how an “out” and openly-gay individual can lead a “normal”, ordinary life. But my own intention was to say something to all those young LGBTs; that even as they endure all the heartaches of discrimination and inequality, they can still grow up to be happy, useful, and productive human beings because they are intelligent and talented kids who have so much to share with other people.

Sadly, the segment producer decided not to use my taped interview and instead wanted me to show up for a LIVE interview this morning. That impromptu interview was already short-notice and I declined to appear on national TV because I too have a day-job to attend to. So the disaster this morning was probably partly my fault. They got this so-called psychology “expert” who said that LGBTs should “subject themselves to therapy so they can lead normal lives and have families”; that it’s all a matter of choice because “studies have shown that gays can live as straights”…Also, “LGBTs should worry about not having kids who can take care of them in their old age…”

Oh Boy! Have we got our work cut out for us..and that’s just for this week.